Owl in the Daylight

Chapter 18

Everything was eerily silent.

Audwin's consciousness floated through an endless abyss but he couldn't find it in him to be worried. He was even comfortable enough with all the darkness around him.

Unsure of when he would wake up, he recalled last thing he could remember. The sight of his dying mother. Her blood-soaked hand. Her last words.

"Audwin, my son-- forgive me for failing you--"

The statement that had sent him into such blinding rage now only brought him nothing but emptiness.

He was finally numb.

And it was freeing.

***

Cool raindrops fell on his face as he opened his eyes. Audwin was greeted by gray clouds and faint smoke. The scattered fires were slowly getting extinguished. Slightly wincing, he sat up and surveyed himself.

He had multiple cuts and abrasions on his arms and torso, his clothes were torn, and he was drained. Considering the magical energy that exploded from him, he wouldn't be surprised if a week had passed since the incident.

Getting up on his feet, the majestic palace was now in ruins. The ceiling collapsed, walls were in rubbles, and as far as his bare eyes could see, no stone was left unscathed.

And in front of him was his very dead mentor.

Well, he couldn't really confirm the face because only a puddle of blood and flesh remained where the head was supposed to be. All the limbs were also missing, roughly torn by the looks of it. If not for the half-intact clothes, he wouldn't be able to recognize the scum. Scanning the vicinity, he saw the King a few paces away from him, whose corpse was burned from the waist up, his charred face locked in eternal horror. Audwin knew that these must've been his doing.

But he couldn't find it in himself to care.

They deserved it and more.

Not giving them a second glance, Audwin trudged over his mother. An odd relief went over him when he saw her unchanged state. He didn't unconsciously mangle her. Bending down, he lifted her on his arms. This was second moment he shared with his mother and also the last.  For apologizing to him, he reckoned to at least give her a proper burial.

He turned and was about to leave when he heard a faint groan. Stopping on his tracks, he searched for the source of the sound. Why, he didn't know but he couldn't stop himself to do so.

Behind a tall pile of debris, he found an unconscious Aldous.

Ah, THE precious twin.

Nudging Aldous with his foot, Audwin confirmed that his brother was still alive. Covered only with cuts and abrasions, his precious sibling seemed fine.

Tilting his head, Audwin mused, "Now, what should I do with you, brother?"

***

Signy sniffed and hugged her husband tighter. Not even halfway through his story, she found herself wanting to bury herself into him as if by doing so, she could ease the loneliness and pain of the young Audwin. She settled with a cuddle on the settee instead.

She was immersed in a wide sea of emotions throughout the account. From aching sympathy to indignant anger, Signy tried her damnedest to suppress them all. She didn't want to disturb Audwin's trance-like state but she also held his hand in silent support, occasionally giving it a squeeze of reassurance everytime he paused on especially painful events.

If Von was still alive, she might even consider killing him herself.

Several moments of silence passed since his story ended and both were lost in their own thoughts.

Signy for finally knowing her husband's tragic past and Audwin for unloading his grave secret.

Audwin was holding his breath. He was ashamed. Anytime now, he expected Signy to get up in disgust and walk away after realizing that she was trapped with a bastard who tricked her into marriage.

That she was tied to a mass murderer.

"So then you just turned Aldous and the survivors to swans?" she curiously asked.

Audwin blinked. Did he hear her wrong? That was her concern?

His brows furrowed in confusion, he hesitantly replied, "Initially, I have no idea what to do with them." He was having trouble finding the right words to explain his thoughts at the time. "Maybe I should've just left them to their own devices. Oddly enough, I couldn't do it. But at the same time, I didn't really want to deal with them--" he paused again.

Signy patiently waited as she caressed the back of his hand.

"--so I turned them into animals. Swans, a form that I can tolerate better. Kept me entertained at times, especially when they turn back into humans at night and became creative with how they describe me. Tormenting Aldous gave me a purpose, no matter how petty it may seem. Otherwise--" Audwin gritted his teeth and tugged her closer.

"Otherwise?"

"I might've ended myself and never met you."

Signy inhaled sharply and got up. She stared at him with disbelief, her mouth hanging open.

Audwin gave her a small apologetic smile and tried to convey how numb and uncaring he was that time, "I was so empty then, Signy. A shell. I question why I was even born if all I can be is a curse to everyone. I tried so hard to please, be a good boy but it never worked. Ironically, those survivors saved me from myself. Then I thought I might as well embody the role they expect of me. I did destroy Verngolden after all."

He sighed, "That's the reason why I can only access about a tenth of my powers and locked the rest inside me. So those incidents won't happen again."

"Hold on. So your weak state after magic use was because of that?" This puzzled Signy when Audwin described how much his bastard mentor wanted him for his enormous potential. Not that she belittled him but that vulnerability after using some magic didn't fit the story.

Audwin chuckled. "Yes, that's about it. If I'm at my full capacity, those spells will just be tiny party tricks," he smirked smugly.

"At least use a quarter then!" Signy was glad her husband's usual mood was slowly coming back. Though she honestly thought that keeping the majority of his powers locked up was such a waste.

"I don't need to. Yet," Audwin said lightly, pulling Signy back to him so she was half-sprawled on him.

Signy smiled contentedly, "Can you promise me one thing?"

"What is it?" he asked nonchalantly, his hand rubbing the small of her back.

"If anything happens to me, you won't ever think of harming yourself," Signy thought of the young Audwin and his reaction after watching his mother die.

Audwin snickered, "Oh I won't, my dear wife. Not if I want to destroy everything and make anyone who dares to lay a hand on you wish they were dead."