Retaliate - Larry Stylinson FanFic

suicide attempt

-a/n- Like you can see from the name, this chapter will strongly include talking about suicide, self harm and self-destructive thoughts. Please stop reading if it triggers you or makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, thank you for reading until here. <3

"You can't sleep all day!" Harry protests. Louis doesn't answer, he just pulls his blanket over his head. "Louis!" Harry is about to lose his temper.

"I miss her.." Louis finally mumbles. Harry sighs and gets on the bed.

"I know you do, I miss her too. And I know she was your sister, I know how much she meant to you. But you have to at least come to eat something." Harry explains. Today marks one year from Fizzy's death. Of course Louis is sad about it, but,, well. He isn't that sad that he couldn't get out of bed. He's just in bad shape, for no reason at all, again, or more like still. He hasn't gone outside for almost a week. Louis doesn't answer to him. Suddenly the blanket over him gets pulled away.

"Hey!" Louis yells and curves his body into a roll.
"Give it back!"

"Not until you get up." Harry threatens. He's serious about it. Louis just rolls his eyes and gets back to sleeping. "Louis what the fuck wrong with you?!" Harry swears. Ouch.

"I just wanna sleep.." Louis mumbles. He hears how Harry gets on the bed, and feels his breath on his face.

"I don't mean just today, you don't really do anything anymore." Harry sounds now more worried than angry. He has noticed. I mean, Louis figured out that he'll notice at some point. Louis presses his eyes harder close, hoping he won't start crying again.

"I don't know why.." He answer after a couple minutes of silence. Harry puts his hands on Louis' cheeks so he opens his eyes to find Harry smiling at him.

"Good that you acknowledge it." Harry kisses Louis on his forehead.

There has been couple of days when Louis was sure that he was gonna kill himself at that same second. But Harry always came home. He went on a little longer for him. It lead to this, he can't get out of bed, he's mad all the time, he's tired and barely eats. Harry doesn't deserve this, taking care of Louis all the time. And Louis hates it.

"Now, breakfast." Harry states. Louis gives up at this point. He has bullied Harry enough. He has to be strong.

"Can you carry me?" Louis asks whispering. He doesn't want to bother Harry, but walking downstairs feels impossible, let alone walking back up. Harry doesn't say anything, and it's not like Louis doesn't know what he'd answer, he just gets up and lifts Louis up by his knees and back, Louis wraps his arms around Harry's neck. He rests his head on his shoulder and closes his eyes. Harry walks them downstairs, not saying a word.

Louis ate eggs and a toast. He wasn't hungry and felt like he would throw up, but he did it anyhow to please Harry. They stayed downstairs to watch a movie but Louis passed out middle of it. He has to get himself together, or Harry will suspect something.

It's not like Louis hasn't thought about it. It's not something impulsive. But it's- it's hard. How could he leave Harry? It would be easier if they weren't together, or engaged in the matter of fact. If Harry just would just break up with him,, if they never got back together,, if they never met.. Maybe he wouldn't even be here. Harry is the one making this so hard. Or maybe he won't even care, Louis is nothing but a burden to him, at least right now. It would just help him. Harry would get over it and start living a normal life, Harry wouldn't have to go on with this.

Besides, he doesn't know how, hanging sounds,, wrong. It would probably leave a mark, he doesn't want people to find him like that. Drugs,, not a good idea, it will take a while, doesn't probably even do the job. He feels like he would betray Fizzy, all of his family if he goes the same way that she died, but intentionally. Drowning isn't good either, maybe they won't even find the body. He wants them to burry him. That will help them move on. If they never find the body, that will probably bother them.