My Friends

J H D

So I've decided to jump around abit and not cover my friends by going group by group for example HET is part of camping gang whilst this chapter is about JHD who is one of my college friends who I'm going to refer to as Piccy Review because it's the name of our group chat and I'll leave you to try and figure out why it's called that and if you figure it out don't tell my parents. Cheers! Oh I also decided to jump around abit because obviously I spend time with these people in groups so if I went group by group I feel like it would get boring and repetitive also I feel like taking a break from certain groups will help me think of new examples per person because I want to include some group experiences but I want to include some individual experiences because I love these people for their own individual reasons and  thus I want each of these chapter essay things to be individualised.

So your probably wondering who J is and your probably wondering why I'm not using their names I think it's because I want it to be a bit mysterious and also I feel like when we hear names we instantly think of people we know with those names and that influences how we envision the people/characters we're reading and I think by leaving the nameless it leaves it abit more of a blank canvas. Also I think it would be nice that if the people I've written about find this that they know it's about them but others won't so its more sincere for us to. But tbf I'm not planning on showing anyone this because it's kind of cringey and I think I'd be terrored (made fun of if you don't know what that means). Just realised I've not described him so I'll get right too it...

Description: So he's a bitch basically and he won't hate me for saying that he wears it like a badge of honour and funnily enough he'll kill me for saying this that he's so sweet and kind and he's always been there for me when I needed him most and sometimes I'm sad to say that I've not been as good of a friend to him as he has me. If I could go back in time and be so much nicer I 1000% would do but also if my grandma had wheels she would have been a bike you know what I mean? So physically he's a skinny white twink and he's also a bender like me so that's always fun. He's taller than me about 5'10 and oh my god he has such an amazing body if only he'd see it the way I do AND STOP HATING HIMSELF. He's white but he fake tans sometimes I think a little too much but if he likes it then who am I to bash him like go girl live your life. When we first met he was perming his hair which I loved he looked so good but sadly it was killing  his hair so now he has like short hair with short fringe and at one point he was considering dyeing his hair but I like his hair brown. J wants to have loads of plastic surgery done like fillers and implants and I'm scared he thinks it will solve his problems which obviously I wont and if he thinks like that then he might become addicted but also maybe its just me stressing and everything will be fine but I tend to stress about the people I care about I think I learnt that from my mum because she's a natural born stressor. J has such an amazing fashion sense like everything looks good on him but we have very different styles he very much goes along with the trends and looks like a runway model however I like colours and patterns and dress very much they way I want and It'd be easy to say that he goes along with the trends because he cares too much what other people think but I disagree I think he likes to go with trend because I think he likes the fact it's ever changing he's not really someone known for liking constants he loves a good changing situation does our J. Me and J are both gay  which is an interesting dynamic because often there is one gay per friendship group but remarkably me and J get on amazingly He's the first gay my age that I've been friends with that I've not dated before the friendship although we did have a little fling but I'm glad we're just friends because He's someone I can talk to about things that I can't talk to my other friends about because all my other friends are girls so obviously they can't really understand gay issues like josh can.

Key memories: So me and J have less memories because we have only been friends since  late 2019 and I'm writing this June 2021 so at this point we haven't even known each other for two years but it's been an amazing almost two years. It's been a roller coaster because I feel like we're both interesting people because from the surface we come across as the opposites so i come across like how josh really is and josh comes across like I really am it's quite amusing basically josh across as this loud slag who like clubbing and boys but until recently he was a virgin and he's told me many times about how he'd much rather sit in a library all night than go clubbing he specifically applied to uni based on how much he liked the libraries I'm one of his best mates and that still sometimes surprises me when I remember it. Hahaha I fucking love him honestly. However I love clubbing I can't wait to go to a proper club because all the clubs I've been too are the dodgy ones that you can get into when your not 18 and they're just full of chavs looking for the next minority to hate crime its honestly abit shit seeing as half of them the are the lads who bullied me in high school for being gay. 

So funnily enough my first memory of J was at enrolment day for the college which was on GCSE results day I was there with my mum and you had to wait in a queue before talking to a college tutor who would enrol you onto the Alevels and takes your picture for you ID which is funny to look back on because we were all just scared year 11s in this pictures and also they are the LEAST flattering pictures ever I don't know anyone who looks half decent in their picture. But anyway I was in the line and I saw this gay who was orange (I'm sorry J but you were) with a perm and a pink and green typical gay stripe shirt the type of shirt every gay has if your a gay you know exactly what I mean I have about five no joke. Anyway I saw him and I remember thinking he was fit and being like oooooo and I remember thinking he could be a potential boyfriend. This taught me something interesting about myself that when if I don't know someone or I like them in a way that's not strictly platonic then I look at them and feel attracted to them but as soon as I know them in a platonic sense I look at them and just see my friend nothing extra. I think that I just became so satisfied with my friendship with J that my brain forgot about my physical attraction to him or maybe it was because he got rid of his perm because fuck me curly hair is my Achilles heel haha.

So yeah the next big thing was the week long saga of me and J dating probs October of 2019 or maybe earlier November and I had become friends with one of his close friends from high school and also we had a couple of mutual new college friends so I got his snapchat and In the late September I was at my friends 18th and drunk messaged him and I'm pretty sure that was the first time we properly messaged. Then a couple of weeks after we went on our first date to watch IT chapter two at the cinema and I remember waiting outside the bus station for him and being really nervous as I said natural born stressor It was funny because it was in the VIP lounge but there were no two seats together so luckily the nice woman on the till sold two tickets but said that we were allowed to sit in these seats that couldn't be sold but had no one organised to sit in the so luckily we could sit next to him and It was great I had a good time being shit scared by the film and J enjoyed laughing at me for being scared. Then when we were parting he kissed me on the cheek and I remember that gave me butterflies but now we kiss each other on the cheek all the time because its a gay thing to do. 

So J doesn't like clubbing but he does like house parties I think it's because he likes the fact you know most of the people at a house party that being said we've only had a couple of drunken experiences two to be precise well that's if my memory is correct. The first time was march of this year we went drinking in this park near where J and a couple of our friends live there was six of us me, J, MJS, BJG, JPP and RHA and in this park up abit of a hill there's like a fire pit not like a properly built one there's just like a couple of logs around some smaller logs inside a circle of rocks that's just scorched black from probably illegal fires people have made there. So on this day we were drinking a lot and then we ran out of drinks so me and J who was considerably more sober than me went to Lidl to buy more drinks and also to buy the morning after pill for one of the girls surprisingly they won't sell it to men haha. But we bought two bottles of peach schnapps to play a drinking game with then it turned into me drinking this entire bottle to myself. As you can probably imagine I don't remember too much more than that however RHA managed to take a video of me and J in the woods just cuddling it's so funny to watch because we're staring into the distance having a proper moment and the girls all say it looks like we love each other which is true we do but just not in that way. Anyway we walked back into town so they could get a takeaway I was blackout and just before meeting my dad because he was picking me up I was sick down the side of a bin in broad daylight on a main road yeah deffo not my proudest moment. The second time was when we went to this restaurant  near us called Ayasophia it's this Greek place that looks like donna's hotel from mama mia but before we got there we all met at the bus station to get the bus there and MJS brought edibles but didn't tell us so we ate edibles got high and we were all just high in this restaraunt and honestly it was kind of a blast like I just kept laughing at absolutely everything  maybe not the best thing to do when it's your first time but hey hoe your only young once.