Forgive My Abnormal Brain Function

"What do you think of this painting?" said my aunt.

I took in a deep breath.  I tried to call on my art school training.  "It's a very nice portrait.  The artist used color to highlight light on the face in extreme ways.  The eyes are particularly nice.  I like the light reflection specks in their eyes."

"It's silly how that's the thing you focus on," she said with an eye roll.

"I can't control how my brain works."

"If you went to therapy and took the medication you could."

I sigh in exasperation.  "It doesn't work all the time.  Not even half the time.  And my doctors agreed with ME that I function well enough without.  The only time you ever bring it up is when it is an inconvenience to you!"

Cassie's hand slips into mine.  "There you are, dear.  I have to show you something."

"What?"

"Something that's over here."  She points ten feet away from where we are standing where there is a flower bed.

"Okay."  I follow her.  Halfway there it starts to register that she has done this intentionally to help me.  I look at the flower bed with her.

"Pretend I'm talking about the flowers," she says pointing.  "Are you okay?"

I gesture in the same direction that she has done and nod.  "No.  It's too hot, too bright, and she's driving me crazy."

"Won't be much longer my love."

I don't remember why I agreed to come to this.  Other than my aunt is here.  She was setting up a garden art gallery.  Her reasoning being that one would observe great art and also the art of nature at the same time.  It was a good idea.  But I also hated it.

The only reason I had been able to come along was because of Cassie.

She kissed me on the temple.  "It's alright Alaina.  Don't let her bother you."

"I don't know why she asks me to these things if she's just going to make fun of my opinion."

"You know that she does this to bring more attention to her own opinions."

I nodded.  I rested my head on her shoulder.  She slipped one hand around my waist to hold me close.  I wanted to stay like that.

"Alaina!" I heard my aunt call out from across the garden.

I sighed.

"What do you want?"

"I want her to go away."

I heard my aunt call my name again as I heard footsteps get closer.

"Please leave her alone right now," said Cassie as she turned.

"But I have someone very important who wants to meet her!" she said stomping her foot.

I flinched and squeezed Cassie's hand tighter.  Cassie turned her whole body so that we were now facing each other and only half an inch apart.  I rested my forehead on her collar bone.  She continued talking to my aunt over my shoulder.

"You're upsetting her.  I brought her so that she could have a nice afternoon at your art exhibit.  But all you have done is upset her over and over again and blame her for being upset.  Which is grossly ableist."

"You haven't known Alaina that long.  If you-"

"I have known her long enough to know her better than you do."

That finally shut her up.

I felt Cassie's free hand cradling my cheek and lifting my face up to look at her.  I slowly opened my eyes.

"Do you want to stay?"

I shook my head.

"Okay, we're leaving now."

My aunt started to protest, but Cassie did something that I didn't see.  Not that I cared.  Anything to get me away from there.  I was aware that we were walking and then getting into the hot car.  Cassie cranked the AC and was quiet on the way home.

Halfway there I gained the ability to talk again.  I reached across the center console and stroked her arm.

"Forgive my abnormal brain function," I said to her.  I always said it when my brain caused us to leave somewhere.

She caught my hand in hers.  "You don't have to ask for forgiveness.  But if you need it, you are forgiven.  I love you.  And she was being terrible to you."  She kissed the back of my hand and held on the rest of the way home.