Chapter 1 - Lesson 1
Welcome to Death. By now you should ne fully aware of what's happening. You should also know your ways of death. Did you die of natural cause, murder or other? See subsections below.
Chapter 1 - Lesson 1, sub. 3.
So, you were murdered. How unfortunate! You have it worst of all the others. To finalize the passing on, you must meet your murders. See subsections below.
Chapter 678 - Lesson 58, sub. 100.
Lessons on haunting. Haunting is a right, not a privilege. We at Heaven Inc. do not recommend haunting as this can increase your registration time. If you must, see subsections below.
Chapter 678 - Lesson 59, sub. 204.
Haunting is a right, not a privilege. Abuse that, you WILL go to Hell.
Chapter 678 - Lesson 59, sub. 205.
Haunting is the act of going to the land to interact with the living. This means does not have to be violent. Then again, it doesn't have to be sane. It can be soothing to us to see our loved ones.
Chapter 678 - Lesson 60, sub. 1.
Dear murdered,
To properly register, you must haunt to pass on. First, go to your funeral, see how many people supported you. This will help you in you in your chore. Secondly, go to your murderers, get to know them. What are they afraid of? Lastly, play with them. Give them what you felt. Pain. Do not kill. That comes along eventually. Remember, don't feel bad. You have just participated in what Heaven Inc. calls "Karma".
Sincerely, Heaven Inc.
Chapter 7494 - Lesson 638, sub. 737.
Why register? Well, once registered you can do tons of Heaven Inc. supervised activities. These activities include: spending time with other deceased loved ones, haunting more superficially, becoming one with Ouji boards, and playing golf with God.
Chapter 1,000,000 - Lesson 1, sub. 1.
Message from the publishers,
Congratulations, you have finished The Guide Of Death. Now it's time to register. All the tips you have learned from this booklet will be useful in this process. You only die once! #YODO
Remember, just because you're in Heaven doesn't mean you can't get out. Hell Co. is always looking for new members.
