not The Perfect Life

The Meaning of Life

Chapter 15

Friday, 29th of March 2019

The meaning of life

There is now certainty about the deaths of Philip and Michelle Vergara. They were poisoned with arsenic. It is still unclear whether it was murder or suicide. Galen and Matthew are going through hell. I just wonder if they are going through hell again or just never left it. When Penelope had her dark time, she stopped coming to school. Galen is still coming. He comes every school day and you can always tell that the other students and teachers know what happened. They look at him pityingly and no one dares even speak to Galen.

But Galen still has me. I talk to him every day and try to distract him. But what should I do? I mean, this is not a small topic that can be thought away. It changed his life forever. Unfortunately, other people know that too. Again and again someone wants to talk to him about his feelings. Worst of all, however, are the police and the detective inspectors. You could say they are torturing the guys and me and everyone involved. They ask so many questions and squeeze us out about everything we know or might know. I know it's their job, but it's still very painful.

It hurts to talk about it. It hurts to know Galen and Matthew need to talk about this. It hurts to see the looks of strangers. They have already formed an opinion. They take their information from the internet or from the TV news and don't even want to hear our site. Philip and Michelle's killer has not yet been found, and yet everyone around me thinks they know the situation better than we do. There are moments when people come up to me and babble on me with shit and I just think I might explode.

When I go to school, Galen is already there. He used to take me in his car for a while, but since my bike was finally repaired, he's usually always waiting for me by the bike racks. He is not there. Galen is already standing in the school hallway and looking into his locker. So I enter the school building and meet him.

"Hey, Gal! What's up?" I ask easily. He looks at me. His look speaks volumes. He can't be fine. His eyes no longer even reflects grief. It's running cold down my spine. It's like his eyes are already dead.

"Shit, Galen, I .. uh .." my attitude changes from funny to serious and worried, "I..Galen .."

"Let it go.", He interrupts me and holds his hand in front of my face, "It's okay."

"No, it is not. I can see that."

"Stop it, okay ?!" he suddenly grumbles loudly. Galen slams his locker door and looks serious and angry in my face.

"Stop trying to help me.", He explains angrily, but calmly and quietly, "You can't help me and you're not a faith healer, Olivia. You have no idea how I'm doing or what's going on in my head. So don't pretend it's different or like you're something better than you actually are. " I can't believe what Galen is telling me here and how he insults me. My jaw drops. What can I say? Nobody has ever said anything like this to me. I never could have imagined that Galen would say that to me. But he said it and hurt me too deeply.

Don't cry now. Do not Cry. Definitely don't cry. Galen can't see that hurt me. I mustn't be selfish. I take a deep breath. Galen closes his eyes and sighs. Before the first tear flows from one of my eyes, I just run away. I can't and shouldn't blame Galen now. He had to bury his own parents last week. He and his brother discovered their bodies. The whole world wants something from him. In short, Galen is having a really rough time and is going through some fucking shit. He certainly didn't mean it seriously.

After our little 'quarrel' we have classes together. But he doesn't show up. It's anatomy. We usually just skip that together. After a while, start worrying. Where is he? Is he still in school? Is he doing something stupid right now? I secretly pack up my school supplies and leave class like a secret agent. I guess I'm really good at that, because nobody saw me go. Galen is more important than school now. I run cautiously out of school, unlock my bike, and decide to look for Galen.