A year passed by, but nothing really changed. I was still destroyed, not able to get back on my feet.
At every memory i remembered, i prayed to get him back, to have him by my side one more time. I wanted him to get his second chance, just like i had mine.
It was more painful to lose him than to lose myself.
I was ready to give up on my love if it was the only way to be with him once again. Having him around was worth the loss, but things were not that simple.
Even a year after, the bitter taste didn't leave my throat. Everything was dull again, the moon rebecame the simple satellite, the ocean was just a bunch of water, and sunny days got boring.
Season passed as they never stopped doing, autumn made leaves fall, winter was cold, flowers bloomed in spring, and summer came.
Two years passed, but my sorrow was still the same.
It wasn't hate or anger anymore, nor sadness. I just felt empty.
The second year was a bit easier than the first one, i tried to catch up again with the world, as he wanted me to do. I spent more time with my friends, i even got the opportunity to date, and maybe love again.
Jaemin was right, Sicheng was not just a friend.
Because i didn't want to hurt his feelings, i told him my truth with honesty : my heart was already taken. Of course he got sad or disappointed or whatever, but he went through it and still wanted our friendship to exist.
Something i didn't have the chance to do with Jaemin.
It had been exactly two years since i had to let him go, and weirdly, things that day seemed so different but familiar at the same time. Instead of being at the beach, i went to my fav café with Sicheng, as he wanted me to do two years ago.
Sitting in the terrace, the conversation didn't stop, but i was feeling a bit off because of that weird sensation of deja vù.
Maybe it was just nostalgia because i missed him so much, but i could feel it, even if it didn't make sense, it was real to me.
- I heard a supernova will happen today, it must be so pretty. Smiled my friend with his shiny eyes.
- A supernova ? I asked, confused.
- Yeah, when a star exploses and becomes stardust, we call this a supernova. It couldn't be a coincidence.
Suddenly, i started packing my things and got the urge feeling to leave the café. I apologized sincerly to Sicheng, but i had to confirm it myself.
I went to the beach, where the sun started to disappear at the horizon, leaving its golden light behind. I sat on the sand the same way i did back then and waited for him to come again, to tell me about the stardust, and to everything to start over as if time never passed.
But nothing happened.
Even if i wasn't expecting much from the universe, i still found myself disappointed and disgusted. Indeed things were completely different, except my hopes for a new chance.
I walked lifelessly to the ice cream truck again as the sky was already dark and the moon shining in the brightest way, maybe doing things as they were two years ago will give me comfort.
- I'd like ...
- Two cones, one chocolate and the other pistachio ? Smiled the man.
- No, not this time, i smiled back sadly, just a cone pistachio.
- So you don't want me to gain weight with you ? Shivers went down my spine as i recognized the voice, i felt paralyzed, not able to raise my head.
Fear was the only thing i was feeling at the moment, what if it was just an hallucination ? A dream that i'll wake up from ? What if he was going to disappear and leave once again ?
I looked up, shaking, to see his precious smile as it never changed. He was still the same, so were my feelings for him.
The first thing i did was to throw myself in his arms, sobbing again like a baby as i grabbed his shirt even tighter.
- Don't leave me ... it was too hard, i can't take it anymore.
- Im here now, you dont have to worry. He put his head at the back of my head and rubbed it gently. I finally won't get jealous of your stardust, i have mine now.
- Y-you ... you are human ?
- Yes and let me tell you something you were wrong about.
- What is it ?
- It's great to be a human and be allowed to love, i told you we're meant to be in this life.
