Black Butler x reader no one like you

Flashbacks and Andrus

FLASHBACK..............................

"There are no more barriers to cross. All i have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicous and the evil, all the mayhem i have coused and my utter indifference toward it i have now surpassed. my pain is constant and sharp, and i do not hope for a better worl for anyone. In fact, i want my pain to be inflicted on others, i want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and i gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing. Nothing to me. i know my behavior can be erratic sometimes. i could tell you anything, and you'd still never know the real me. you see, there is an idea of (y/n)(l/n); some kind of abstraction. But, there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though i can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably camparable.... i simply am not there. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identible emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something terrible is hapening inside of me and i dont know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy, i think my mask of sanity is about to slip."( smiles creeply) " People keep thinking that i care doc, its wierd. becoause whenever i look at them, i just fell like cutting them open, riping them apart, cutting them into tiny little pieces, i want to stab them to death and then play with their blood, and thats the only way i feel really, really...good."

"Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do?"

"both. doc can i leave now?"

" yes."

"thanks, oh and one more thing." you turned around and shot him in the face. " dont take it personall doc, i dont like anybody... in fact you know what, i did like you, but i wanted to kill you. Right now looking at you dead there, i dont feel anything.... and that feels great."

A LITTLE FURTHER INTO THE FUTURE.

That was before i met Andrus, he fixed me, kinda. and i love him for that.

"Master, wake up."

" It's been a year already Andrus, ive told you a thousand times to call me by my name." he just smilled sweetly and i smilled back. i woke up Fenrir that was still sleeping beside me in his dog form. He jummped on me and licked my face. As i ran down the stairs to the kitchen i tripped and was ganna fall hard against the rest of the steps, but it never came, i looked up to see Andrus was carring me, the chandelier light as a backround making him look even more beutiful than he already was, wich i though was impossible, he smilled macking him look so beutiflul. everything on him and about him just glowed int the light under the chandelier, he carried me to the kitchen and i rested my head on his chest, taking in the hipnotizing aroma.

A little further...............

"aw, it hurts." i said in a wine.

" Just what were you thinking, what happened to you? did someone do this?!" he was angry, i was in the hospital and the docter was putting my ankle back into place. i was in school and was running around when i stepped on something and had a bad fall, cousing my ankel to dislocate and some scratches and bruises on my arms. he was angry couse he wasnt there for me, he wasnt there to protect me, he felt guilty, blamed himself couse he said he was ganna stay home that day and get stuff ready for moving day and that same exact day i was carless enough to trip and fall.

" its all my fault." he said clutching his fists.

" its not. so stop blaming your self."

" i shoul've been there for you, i wasnt even able to bringe you to the hospital myself." you giggled slightly.

" its cute when you worry about me like that." he blushed and looked away, and for the first time, for the first time in 4 years since you first saw him, you hugged him. he was sitting on a chair and you were slightly behind him, you hugged him from behind, then you rubbed his head and gave him a kiss on his forehead then you smilled at him.

" its ok, its not your fault." he nodded wide eyed, his heart was fast.

Time past.......

"Promise youll never leave me again." he said as he burried his face in your lap.

" i promise." you said combing you fingers through his hair.

When you left for Black Butler....

There he was, angry, alone, in the rain, out of breath, you were 8 hours late and it was dark, he fell to his knees tears in his eyes, he punched the ground.

"danmit, danmit,danmit!" heputs his hands on the ground and cries.

" y-you promised, you promised." his voice cracked.

" What makes you think she left, maybe, you just have to look for her. you cant give up, dont give up, and i promise, you will find her." said Aeron.

Timeskip................

"i finally found you."

BACK TO WHEN HE SAW YOU

when i saw her, i coulddnt belive it, she was ok. without realisising i held her for far too long, i did things i didnt expect id do. i missed her soo much i didnt want to ever let go, that night she explained to me what happened, how it was all an actident, i blamed myself for not being with her or atleast arrived sooner, but she didnt let me. i really do love her, from the first day i saw her, i loved her. Ifeel ashamed of myself for what i did to her the other night, she woke up with bruises on her wrist, i hope no one will notice, she has already forgiving me, but ive seen the way the others look at her, they might hurt her, trying to hurt me. i dont care if they try to hurt me, its not like they can anyways. But i fear for her, she's strong, but she gets hurt easily.