The red-velvet sunset

"Anna Sonzy"

7pm, the colours start to appear in the sky specifically that orange one which appears prominently , especially when it turns pink that may symbolise happiness for most of people . The clouds form a perfect line-up, as if they were boats safely mored in celestial harbour . The sunlight is getting low. The wind comes to me so bodly and plays with my hair. I enjoy looking at the sundown. I could watch it for hours , if it lasts that long . It is that time of the day when everything slows down. It comes as a settled heart to the horizon, as if the sky itself could speak of love, as the sweetest soul-blush . It becomes a welcoming skyward hearth... While i was fascinated by the view , I noticed my mom planting a new tree in the garden , Ellen Biller . This soulful, emotional, magical, precious woman in my life . She is litterally a candle that never extinguish. She has been sacrificing in all ways to make us live in the best conditions . Whatever what happen she will and always be this cheerful happy mom . She has been always supporting me and being in my side in my hardest moments , without her, i don't know what i could do, but sometimes , she becomes this rude person who complains about everything , even the smallest things. However , i will never stop loving her. A little devil is playing around her ,my sister Eva , the youngest sibling. Eva has been always irritating , you will never convince me she isn't. She is this little peky kid , that may often make you laugh without stopping. She is becoming Mom's favourite child, and that's kinda disturbing me but overall she still my sister and i wish she wasn't... The sky is turning into black , i am starting to lose the chance to admire its beauty. « Elle », my name , please spell it with an E , It may remind you of the known show  « « Anne » with an E » , but It's not the same story and not even the same person. It might look boring at first , but eventually , you shall find that every word has its own story .Today , in this wonderful time, I'm writing on my old diary , that has been forgotten decades ago. Today , I'm writing about the ups and downs, the good and evil . Yet this time I prefered to give myself another name « Anna Sonzy ».

Sunset gives me the power to turn my thoughts off. My mind is like a machine that has no stopping button. This time saves me from overthinking about so many things .The book i am currently reading , does its job as well , it's called « foolproofing your life » It has the ability to show you the best way to discern inner qualities andrelationships : Wisdom. I turned quickly to stare at the nightfall , but unfortunately the darkness already filled up the sky . I wonder , how the sky has a charming beauty that makes me smile each time i looked at it , and how it makes me cry because of its emptiness ? God's creation . It's time for dinner , i kept waiting till mom calls me, owing the fact that i am a lazy person , i hate helping in home tasks. A  loud voice is coming from the kitchen , it's finally her calling. I ate it fast , running back to my room and closed the door... 10 pm, I think everyone took their place to sleep, even though i heard some noises in the backyard , but it won't disturb and prevent me from enjoying the black night sky. Nights come like black heavens . It is one of the times,where i feel comfort , safety and quietude . Notwithstanding,  it usually gives me the feeling of loneliness that acquires my mind. I gave the right to this feeling to live with me, since i had that nightmare , the one that has no ending : Cancer. A lasting illness , that I must deal with every single day , fight in different battles , just to keep breathing.

It's finally morning , the sky is ablaze with the fire of the sun , It creats mysterious shadows that come through the trees. I woke up , sighed deeply and thanking God for living another day. I took my blanket off looking at the roof thinking if i have died this night without realising that dream , I'll be so unsatisfied . I've always wanted a pet ,so I had a cat, but unfortunately because of my bad luck she died , in an accident. She was the only reason why i was going twice a week to the therapy sessions. She was a little weak creature that lighted up my heart with joy . I went downstairs seeing mom talking on the phone, dad. A person who abandoned us since Eva's birth , it is one of the reasons why i dislike her. I've lived without a dad for years. I don't know how does it feel to have both parents together or feel their love. I took my breakfast slowly , trying to hear his voice . He never tried to visit us, but he used to send me letters in my birthdays , expressing his love , but i don't believe his words .« You've a chemotherapy today , would you like to go darling ? » I love when mom asks me gently. I refused. The hospital is a place where you can get a free headache for a whole day . I still remember , when I was a child , I used to imagine it as a white castle, with the evil and good kings which made me able to forget the pain. I went to clean my room and throw some things away , such as : the scrunshie i found outside that day at 6am , i haven't known whose it yet... 2pm , i've already finished . My mom will be so proud for seeing me making an effort to clean this mess. Few minutes after cleaning , she gave me a gift, It's a copybook called « Burn after writing » She knows very well , that her daughter has so many secrets, regrets , that she never opened up to someone about, indeed .

I took my phone and started chatting with my friend Lisa. I never met her before but she is nice to me , she doesn't know about my sickness yet. She is a caring, sweet and sleepy girl with a pure heart and the prettiest smile , she has been there for me whenever i needed her . She is my sunshine in my darkest nights. She told me about her new house in New York , she moved out lately  . She is obsessed with the street there, It's lined with sparkly lights that makes you forget how cold it is outside, and it's full of great small businesses and nice people . But there's that boy named Adrien , her neighbor ,an overbearing boy. His dad is a mafia boss, that's why exactly he thinks he rules the street. She heard some rumours about his dad, she've been told that he's the one who murdered his mom . Unbelievable ! We talked for hours until this little kid entred my room, without getting my permission as always « get out» i said , she didn't answer me and kept looking few seconds , she used to do this every time, but this time , her looks weren't normal , she seemed upset , she jumped to the bed hugging my pillow and started crying . I still didn't get why she comes here instead of going to my mom. I am not free to stand her craziness . I tried to get her away from my bed , but she hugged me tightly till i couldn't breath. Her heartbeats sounded like an echo, i could feel them blended with mine « what's wrong ? » She didn't answer so i patted on her head trying to cheer her up . The devil turned into a sweet angel. I felt something touching my skin, blood , her feet was bleeding  « you hurt yourself again », « yes, when i was playing » she said in a ridiculous way which made me want to laugh , but i didn't want her to keep crying so i controlled myself . I stood up looking for a bandage , found it , took it and put it in her feet « You ought to stop playing with these sharp things » She took her hands from her face and started wiping her tears « It's not my fault , he gave it to me », « then stop playing with him ! » she covered her ears , trying not to hear my words  « close your window, you may see something you don't want to » she said and left . Such a weirdo , what can i see for example ?*chortles* . I gotten up to take my medecines then I heard a strange voice , rising from the garden , it sounds like human steps , someone is walking outside and approaching my window . My heart was beating fast , i was about to lose my soul until i heard him calling.