CH: Shorts

Reich's reaction to Pearl Harbor

(This short was just Reich's reaction to Pearl Harbor. Do not take this historically accurate, because some things in here are completely not accurate.)

Kingdom of Italy: "Hey Third Reich. I don't know if you know this, but Japanese Empire needs some help in her war thousands of kilometers away."

Third Reich: "Oh. Ok. Um, one second."

With supplies low, the only thing he could really give J.E. were some weapon blueprints. He did have an MP 40 blueprint, so he used just that.

Reich: "Here, give her this blueprint."

Italy: "Yea, no blueprints aren't enough. J.E. is doing Pearl Harbor."

Reich: "Wait, J.E. is doing Pearl Harbor?"

As Reich looked at the calendar and realized today was December 7, 1941, and realized they were doomed.

Reich: "FUCK!! We are not ready for this! We are not ready!"

Italy: "Are we gonna be ok, sir?"

Reich: "You know what, you know what."

As Reich scrambled for anything and found a single bullet he already fired.

Reich: "Give her this bullet."

Italy: "But, you already fired that bullet."

Reich: "Well, we don't have anything to offer to her. Supplies are low, this is all we can give her."

Italy: "But, but, J.E. told us she would commit Pearl Harbor months ago."

Reich: "I know! But I thought Korea, Manchuria, Nanking, Taiwan, French Indochina, and some random islands in the Pacific would be enough land for her. I thought she'd be happy. BuT nOoO she wanted the ENTIRE PACIFIC!! Like what the hell!"

Italy: "Sir, are our empires doomed?"

Reich: "Honestly, I think our empires are screwed."

Italy: "Maybe we can send some troops to her."

Reich: "We can't send any troops to her Italy. My troops are spread out thin. Some of the troops are in the Eastern Front dying in the Russian winter. Some of the troops are in Africa because your army can't handle some Ethiopian bowmen, let alone Greeks with guns and the British with tanks. Then the rest are acting as military police because some damn Poles and Frenchies just don't like living in this empire."

Italy: "I'm scared."

Reich: "Don't be scared. What is VietnamCountry (the author) doing to us?"

Italy: "He's shitting on us, sir."

As Reich panicked, thinking for any solution that could get him out of this new nightmare. Unfortunately for him, there was no solution except for one desperate thing. Tactical retreat.

Reich: "I'm not gonna lie kid, we might need to pull out of Africa."

Italy: "Sir, I don't want to lose my African colonies. I can't lose my precious empire. I can't lose it. Can't lose it."