Is the only thing I can say. I'm sorry you care about me. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I'm not getting better.I'm sorry it bothers you that I feel this way.
I'm sorry that every waking minute of every fucking day I can't help but be tempted by thoughts of suicide. I'm sorry I have tired to act on those feelings. I'm sorry that I can't fight them off. I'm sorry for those times when you have had to talk me out of it. I'm sorry that you worry about me.
I'm sorry I won't be around to pick you up when you fall. I'm sorry I won't be there to comfort you when your sad. I'm sorry I won't be able to spend all my time telling you how beautiful you are. I'm sorry for all the memories we will never get to make. I'm sorry I won't be there to destroy anyone who breaks your heart. I'm sorry I have to leave you so soon.
But most of all I'm sorry that you knew I existed.
-CBH
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
RandomIts about my personal, on going struggle with suicide and the things I have felt because of it.
