Through the Deep, Dark Valley

Second Child, Restless Child

 When the sun began to rise, Tommy awoke. His eyes opened with reluctant force, and a groan sounded from his throat. He wanted nothing more than to lay in bed and sleep for the day. As he looked at Harold, he felt the overwhelming need to cry. As he curled up underneath the red blankets that were not too soft and not too rough, and as he buried his face into the pillow that was not too plush and not too hard, Tommy cried and began to think.

Dream was gone. Dream was out of his life. He would never hear the man's voice again, and Tommy didn't know if he was overjoyed or crushed by that fact. He could remember the days that Dream would take him and his mother out for ice cream, and how his mother would laugh like the sun as she cleaned his face. He could remember the days Dream took him out to the park when his mother was at work, and how his mother would take him to the arcade when Dream was working.

He could remember the day his mother left, and how Dream had thrown the plates and cups at the walls, how Dream had pushed the couch and torn the cushions, how Dream had shouted and yelled and spat and fought with his ever gentle mother. He could remember the fire in his mother's eyes as she promised to come back to him. He could remember how she swore on her life she would come back to get him.

He could remember the day his father came home with blood on his hands, whispering in Tommy's ear 'You'll never have to see her again, sunshine.'

He could remember crying, but he couldn't remember anything after that.

Maybe that was for the better.

Tommy ignored the memories of Dream beating him after his mother left. He ignored the way his joints ached at the reminder of being broken and sprained with no medical attention. He ignored the way his heart sped up at the idea of Dream tracking him down to kill him as he did with his mother. Tommy ignored it all and shoved his pain into a little box. A box that he would never open again.

Tommy rolled onto his back and thought of the time before his mother left. He thought of Ranboo and Tubbo, his two best friends. He ignored the fact that they had been his only friends until Deo brought him here, but he didn't even know if he could consider these people his friends. Ranboo had always been unnaturally tall, and his eyes had been a mismatch of red and green. This was because he was a half-enderman hybrid, which Tommy thought was extremely cool. When Tommy had seen them last, in the middle of grade school, Ranboo didn't know how to teleport, but he could make the sounds that typical endermen could. Tubbo would always laugh whenever Ranboo chirped or vwooped in the middle of quiet time or silent recess.

Tubbo had been his best friend for much longer, though. Tubbo had been the first person on the first day of school to march up to him and demand his name. Tubbo had been sunshine and bees, flowers and warm wind, the smell of spring after a rainy day. Tommy missed Tubbo the most out of all the people he knew. He wanted a Tubbo hug, which he had missed out on when he left school for the last time.

More tears began to fall as he remembered what had happened on that day.

Tubbo had come to school in a bad mood, his goat tail swishing angrily and he was glaring at almost every person who dared to breathe near him. Even Tommy, but Tommy had been oblivious to his friend's mood and had rambled about the tiniest things. He didn't see the way Tubbo kicked the ground in frustration, nor the way he almost strangled three other students behind his back.

He had only noticed something was wrong after Tubbo hadn't said anything after he mentioned bees. He remembered asking Tubbo if he was alright, only to be headbutted in the stomach by the shorter. Tubbo had thrown a tantrum, blaming Tommy because he was the only one will to be around Tubbo at that time. Tubbo had screamed that it was Tommy's fault his horns weren't going to grow in. He had shouted that Tommy was the reason he wasn't going to grow because his friend had stolen everything from him. Tubbo and hurled insults and painful words as Tommy stood there, waiting with tears in his eyes, for his friend to calm down.

It had taken another five minutes, but Tubbo had gotten everything out of his system enough to realize what he had done, and how much he had regretted it. Tommy watched with tear-stained cheeks as Tubbo began to rush forward, his arms outstretched in hopes of giving the blond a hug when Dream had walked into the yard and grabbed Tommy. Dream had told them that Tommy wasn't going to come to school anymore because his mother couldn't pick him up.

Tommy had watched as Tubbo screamed his apologies, he had watched as Tubbo cried and sobbed and begged for Tommy to come back, he had watched as Ranboo had appeared and how the tallest of the three had wrapped Tubbo in a hug and rocked him gently.

Tommy had missed his friends more than anything, but he missed his Tubbo most of all.

He remembered the day he got Harold.

It had been his fourth birthday, not long after he had met Tubbo but before Ranboo had moved to their school when Tubbo had given him his first gift of the day. It had been sunny, unnaturally so, and Tommy had just been happy that it was warm enough to play but cool enough to not sweat. Tommy had entered the school with the biggest, brightest grin he had ever had on his face, and he had marched to Tubbo with a happy gleam in his eyes. He remembered how his class had wished him a happy birthday, and how his teacher had given him a Syndicate coloring book that he had stashed somewhere in the house. Tommy doubted it was still there to this day, but he wouldn't be surprised if it had survived.

He remembered how Tubbo had pulled him off to the side before he ran out to the schoolyard for recess, and how the brunette had pulled out a messily wrapped package from behind him. He remembered how Tubbo wished him the 'happiest birthday ever', and gave him his gift. When he had opened it, Tommy had wanted to cry. It was a plush cow, one that Tommy had mentioned when his mother and Tubbo's mother had gone on a double shopping trip while their dads were at work. Tommy had told Tubbo before then that his favorite animal had always been a cow, and that if he were to ever get one he'd name it 'Harold'.

And so he had taken Harold, his brand new plush cow, from the bag and gave it the biggest hug he could muster. He had turned to Tubbo with happy tears in his eyes before they hugged, simply standing in the soft sunlight. He had never been happier than how he felt at that moment.

More tears fell at the reminder he was never able to celebrate Ranboo's birthday for the first time, or Tubbo's birthday for the third time, or his for the fifth time. He had never been able to go Trick-or-Treating with Ranboo for the first time, he had never been able to celebrate Christmas with Ranboo.

He was never able to celebrate their friendship anniversaries for the first time.

And so Tommy cried and wished to the stars above him that he could see his friends again.