Into the Abyss

Dirty, Dirty down the river

("Who am I?"

"You are my son." And it hurts, it hurts and he doesn't know what is the cause, the way his heart sour and his lips twisted in derision, eyes full of disappointment-

Always, always not enough, always out of place.

"Who am i?"-) "

"You monsters."

He watched wordless, as Maw kneeled The man of Iron to the ground with a simple gesture with his left hand, the bored look on his face as Stark's screams start to get higher, and higher and higher-

But it was the simple words that captured his attention, the familiar way it was close to heart, close to how his Dreams seems to take a turn in - because he knew, before being added to the Balck Order who he was- because he thought he knew, why-

Monsters-

It wasn't the first time he had heard this word, not really.

There are a lot of creatures he has fought in the past that could be called monsters, they had too many limbs, too different settings in their body parts, a set of extra eyes or a creature with no nose at all.

(Tell me!" His throat hurt, his chest seethed with the burned fire inside, eating away everything he had ever believed, eyes misted with the last sight of his reflection- Voice thundering, loud enough to reach every corner in the palace making his own head ring with the force of it all-

Why?

"Why? 'cause I- I am the monster that the parents tell their children about?"

He was met with silence that made his vision double, the way his skin heated, waves of disbelieve washed his whole as he stared into those eyes, blue and once upon a time, was filled with wisdom-

But now all that leached from it are just icy stares and cold Apathy

It was out of anger, desperation and envy that last too many centuries, went too deep from the unfairness of his fate,

A glimmer of cold pale blue hunted his vision- red eyes cornered black- unnatural skin

Why? Why?

Why is this my fault, father? Why?- )

"Son, " he flinched visibly and took a step back when he felt the heavy gauntlet hand of his father on his shoulder. Thanos's eyes were studying him heavily. Looking for something. "Quell your fidgeting, Loptr. " Thanos ordered.

"I -" he stopped, biting at his tongue. Speak up. But the words couldn't get out of his mouth.

"Did Terra look familiar to you ? " his father asked him with a frown on his face but he was still looking at him suspiciously.

Loptr blinked at the question because why is his father asking him this? He has never been on Terra before. "I beg your pardon, my lord? "

"Very well. " The frown vanished from Thanos's face and he continued, dismissing his question. "You have done well, my children. " he said, looking at Proxima specifically as if Loptr wasn't there.

It was the same gaze he was given Gamora not so long ago, a few months.

The proud, fond gaze.

The one he kept longing for, it felt more than just a few decades, but more- beyond his ability to count and calculate.

So when the bang of disappointment stung him hard enough for him to frown.

It was less painful.