He Cares.

Chapter One

Charlotte's P.O.V

"Not again" I thought to myself, at the sound of the sweetest, most soothing voice in the universe. The only problem is that, the voice is presently used for what I've come to despise most in the world.

"Show me your face
Fill up this space.
My world needs you right now
Let me see you right now...."

I heard the only one I love in this world, sing. The only one I seem to care about, the only one I'm ready to do anything for, the only one I'm living for, the only one I'll kill anybody in the world for. My baby brother.

I stood at his doorstep and watched him as he sang carefully, his voice louder than that from his phone speaker... I see how happy he is though I know how broken he is deep down. I know how much he is sad, how much he wishes to wake up everyday and their faces to be the first thing he sees in the morning, I know how much he misses them and it breaks my heart to know I can't do anything to bring them back.
He claims all the time, that he has me and I'm enough for him but I don't believe it. I don't believe it because I know how much I love him but still wish they were here.
I see him continue singing with so much love and wanting for more. I know that feeling, I've always experienced it before but I know it's useless, I know it's of no use.
What's the point of singing from the deepest part of your heart, what's the point of worshipping one who doesn't care, one who doesn't listen, one who isn't even alive. Yes, what's the point of crying and craving for God when He doesn't even care.
I look at my baby brother and I see him crying and singing in the Spirit, I see him praying in tongues.

I remember my first time, it was during one of our morning devotions when my dad asked us to pray and ask God to show Himself unto us.

*FLASHBACK*
"You make my life so beautiful
And as you have
You have made me heir on earth
There's nothing greater than thee
That's why I love you, forevermore
You make my life so beautiful
And as you have
You have made me heir on earth
There's nothing greater than thee
That's why I love you forevermore.
I want more of you..
I want more of you, Jesus
The more I know you
Is the more I want to know you
Jesus, more of you"

This song has always been one of my best song but singing it now is bringing a different meaning to me. I feel my whole body burning and I no longer feel in control. I can seem to stop myself as I fall down to the ground, singing and crying louder than I've ever done before.
And just at the moment, it happens. More of Him truly comes. I feel Him taking over as I speak in tongues for the first time. My whole body goes on fire as He takes over.
I don't know who but I hear someone telling me to free myself. The voice says I shouldn't hold back and immediately, like a switch has been pulled, loose myself. I free myself and let Him do whatever He wants with me.
*FLASHBACK OVER*

I know this is it, it is his turn to experience it. I really want to go and meet him and pray with him. I know he needs someone, my parents were with me though it is a personal experience but they still where they. I want to run to him and let him know he isn't alone but I can't.
I can't go to him and pray to the God who doesn't love us. Yes, God doesn't care as much as people says. If He does, He wouldn't have taken my parents away from me at the same time. If He loves us, He wouldn't have made me an orphan at the age of fifteen and my brother, at the age of seven.
I'm sure God knows how much our parents means to us, so taking them away from us is what made me who I am today. It is what has turned me into this "bitter young lady" (as people call me) at the age of eighteen. It is what is making me go over to my brother and let him know that he's doing nothing but wasting his time.

"Stop it". I slowly said to my brother, placing my hands on his shoulder but it was of no use.
"Phillip!!" I roared in anger. "Snap out of it". I shook him roughly which made him open his eyes but still panting and crying heavily.

"Char.. Char.." He whimpers my name and I immediately pull him into my chest. "I see Him" he whispers, still in my arms. "He's here Char.. Char. He never left us, I told you He still cares. He said He would never leave nor forsake us Char... Char". Phillip mutters and I know what he's talking about but I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of hearing people tell me that God is with us and still cares because I don't think He does.

"Phillip, stop. JUST STOP!!. I'm the only one here for you. No one cares, I'm all you have, OK?". I shouted at my brother who looked so scared and close to tears.

"Char.. Char..." Phillip started but I cut him off.

"No Phillip. You know if He really cared, He wouldn't have taken mum and dad away. Please stop making things harder than it is already". I told him, trying my best to be strong, making sure I didn't cry in front of him. I can't tell him I'm all he has and show him that I'm weak.

"Char... Char.. Please just hear me out". He said softly, looking into my eyes. As much as I want to yell at him and tell him to stop, I could never say no to him. I'm all he has and I don't ever want to be the reason he is sad.
I slowly nodded my head, telling him to continue which he thanked me for and continued.

"I know mum and dad are gone. I know God could have saved them but He didn't. But at the same time Char.. Char... He said in the bible that He knows the thought He has for us, thought of good and not for evil. Char.. Char.., He told me that He has great plans for us and He loves us. It hurts Him knowing that you think He doesn't care because He does. Please Char.. Char.., stop being so hard on yourself. God loves you". Phillip said, surprising me.

"I'm going to make dinner". I said and left his room.
I know I shouldn't have but I had to. His words threw me off balance and led to a lot of things for me, but no. I have to be strong. Call it stubborn but I've been hurt and I'm not going to make myself a willing victim again.
He doesn't care, He doesn't love me. I don't care what anyone says, not even my baby brother, I refuse to go back to God. I refuse to believe His words.

A/N
Hey guys... I hope you all are good. Like I said, this is something new for me.
I'm a writer and I want to be one who can at least try and write on different aspects of life.
This is something Spiritual and I hope you just don't read it and pass. I'm writing it and I myself, am learning and seeing new things.
Let's not just read but also learn one or two things.

This book isn't in any way edited at all so please bear with me till the end of the book then I'll edit it from the beginning.

I love you all but God loves you more😊💜✨.