Alex and Theodore ✓

for self-destruction

act six:

i
There is something to be said for self-destruction. It's a wonderful poison. It's a wonderful poison to leave and leave and leave and keep coming back. It's a wonderful poison to love and love and love and never feel it in return. It's a wonderful poison to give and give and give until you can't give anymore. It's a wonderful poison, and Alex is addicted to it. So perhaps it is more like a drug than a poison. Perhaps it is a drug, and being with Theodore is like substance abuse. Alex should be taken to jail for this ridiculousness. Alex should be taken to jail and locked up in a real cage - not a mime's cage - and never be released. Alex should be kept far, far away from Theodore and his wonderful poisons and his pink pleated skirts. Alex should be kept far away because Darla told him that Theodore never goes back. Theodore came back. Theodore came back to Alex's apartment for the second real time and Alex shattered all over again in his hands.

ii
Alex is numb. He is numb when he wakes up in the morning and Theodore is not there. Theodore is gone, taking his sheer, sparkling top with him. Theodore is gone and he only called Alex extraordinary three times last night. Theodore is gone and Alex feels empty. He feels hollow. He feels fragile. He feels like he might shatter. Not the way he shattered in Theodore's hands. The way he shattered when Darla said those six words. When Alex realized that he was not extraordinary. Theodore called him Alexander last night. The name sent sparks through his body. Alex wishes that it hadn't. He wishes that everything could be simpler, easier, laid out bare before him. Alex meets Darla at the cafe and orders an Earl Grey. Today doesn't feel like a smoothie day. Today, when Theodore walks into the cafe, Alex doesn't wave. Darla passes him a cookie and tells him that it'll get better. He came back last night, Alex says. Darla looks surprised. He came back last night and called me extraordinary. That has to count for something. Darla appears skeptical, but she pats him on the shoulder and tells him that he might be right all the same. Her daydream eyes are fixed on the bartender when she stands up to leave, and Alex wonders if he's made a horrible mistake by choosing beautiful, extraordinary Theodore. Thunderstriking Theodore. But he has never wanted Darla the way he wants Theodore. He could never want Darla like this. He could never want anybody like this.

iii
Theodore sweeps into the restaurant where the thespians and Alex have gathered for a meal and announces that he will be leaving soon. He will be leaving to go try his luck in New York, on Broadway. Alex has no doubt that Theodore will thrive there. Alex wishes he could drink some wine to tamp down the ache in his chest. But he's the designated driver for his two best friends tonight. Tonight and every night, he thinks bitterly. He abstains from wine all the same. Theodore is seated across from him, and Alex slowly knocks down his beautiful mask. Then Theodore is Theo, and Theo is sitting in the passenger seat of his car singing along with Alex's thespian friends to the stupid song on the radio. When Alex arrives back at his apartment with only Theo by his side, Theo makes him dance.