Locatlie: The End. (Book 7)

Chapter 44

"Can I ask you one more selfish question before I spend the rest of my life making up for what those fuckers, including my family, has done to you?" he said and I bit the top of my lip and I nodded looking at him. "Why could you talk to Hugo and Will and not me?"

"Well first of all, you know me too well." I said calmly as I let out a sigh. "Secondly, I expected Hugo to do what he did with Heather. I could forgive him first because he did exactly as I expected. Also, because I know first-hand how it is to fall for more than once person. So, I can't- I just feel it's very hypocritical of me to be angry at him for that." I said and he nodded slowly looking at me. "William took a very long time too, the moment I forgave him was when uhm, the beginning of this second war he was on the phone with you-."

"King voice to protect you?" Trevor said and a small smile appeared on my face. "Because he showed that he would protect you no matter what."

"Yeah."

"How come me starting a war for you doesn't have the same effect?"

"William and Hugo broke my heart and soul, that is true." I said after a while, having to think about it. "But you broke me with your actions. You're the only one that can actually make my brain fucked up with what you did to me. You're my one person Trevor. You're my everything and you're-." I said and a small tear-filled smile appeared on his face. "When I was taken, I mainly had nightmares, and sometimes I would dream about you or about Hugo or about Will and that would help for a bit. But anytime that I thought about giving up, you would appear in that starcrossed dream or whatever and it gave me the motivation to continue, because I thought I knew in how much pain you would be." I said and tears rolled down his cheeks. "But then I came back and I found out you cheated on me."

"Just two times, one time because I had literally already killed a hundred people in Gotar and the first time because you were taken, my sister and son died, and because I couldn't I just couldn't- my mind. But it was nothing mental, it was all physical." He said and I giggled a bit at that as I grabbed his hand with the other hand, it going on top of him. "Those literal whores don't mean anything to me, all I thought about was you."

"A part of me knows that, but another part of me, the largest part of me, is just so fucking confused and I'm a mess Trevor. That's the third reason why I couldn't be around you, because I didn't want to disappoint you."

"what?" He said in total shock.

"Let me finish please." I begged and he nodded as I sat up now and I sat facing him a bit, my one knee over his leg. "I'm not the same person I was before I was taken, I'm not me anymore. I'm a mess. I cry when I see the weirdest things, and I'm just not mentally stable. I get angry for no apparent reason; I don't make sense half of the time." I said as tears streamed down my face. "I'm so fucking lost and traumatised, and I don't want to disappoint you with who I have become, because I don't want to lose you." I said as tears started to flow. "Like I said, you're my everything, and the last thing in this world I want, is for you to not want to be with me anymore, that you get bored of me and my trauma and my PTSD and my depression and everything." I said and he nodded slowly at that. "I love you so much and I don't want to lose you and I'm afraid that if you get to know this new me, as I am new, that you will hate me and you'll regret starting that war for me."

"I would- I." he said shaking his head. "Never Julia. Never." He said. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health and all that disgusting romantic crap." He said and a small smile appeared on my face as he put his right arm on the leaning of the bench, his hand resting on my back a bit, the other hand on my folded-up hands by my leg. "You're my everything. You are the person I want to grow old with, hell if you want, we can leave and never look back. I don't care." He said. "I would never resent or hate you or get bored of you." He said wiping tears from my face now. "You weird girl."