How not to be a douchebag

Lesson twentyone

HOW TO LOOK LIKE A DOUCHEBAG

(WARNING! The contenst of this lesson might cause brain damage)

Hair - Spiked up with globs of gel to look like a grenade had gone off in a pool of faggotry. The gel is important because it helps people identify you as an asshole from a distance.

Skin - You MUST have a tan, through means of a spray can or tanning booth. You should never get a natural tan, it is not the douchebag way. You can paint yourself dark orange if you're lazy.

Head gear - White cap tipped at the perfect angle. The hat can be substituted with a head band that has no business being part of any outfit, ever.

Shirt - Flamboyantly colored collared shirt from Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch. The shirt must be at least two sizes too small and the collar must be popped up at all times. An alternative is a dirty wife beater followed by a dress shirt, preferably striped. It can either be buttoned or unbuttoned depending on your amount of bling.

Pants - Light washed jeans or cargo shorts several sizes too big. Both must be from Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch/American Eagle.

Shoes - Sandals and sandals. White sneakers can be worn as an alternative. Sandals are preferred.

Accessories - Chain and crucifix necklaces are very important. Large amounts of bling are a sure fire way to finish off your douchebag look. Live-strong arm bands are an added bonus.