Strawberry Ice cream

Chapter 30

I keep driving. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do once I get there but it's the only thing I can think of doing. I don't go to Mark's because we are still on bad terms and I'm certainly not going to any one of the boys' houses because Harry will be looking there once he notices I'm missing.

I don't want to worry him, that's not my intentions in the slightest but I know for a fact it's what he's going to do throughout his waking hours today and every day depending on how long I run away for. I just want what's best for him and me weighing him down with all my problems isn't a part of that. 

The sun is yet another scorcher today, casting dark shadows against any object and the skies a pure blue. It's like the middle of the ocean is stuck in the sky instead of down here. There's not a wisp of a cloud in sight and there is no breeze or wind to cool down my sticky skin. 

Grenade by Bruno Mars comes on and I absentmindedly sing along, not knowing the tears have sprung until my vision blurs and I blink, them escaping and cascading down my warm cheeks. 

"Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash yes you did," I sing with a breaking voice. 

I really did just toss everything between Harry and I away due to some selfish act to try and better myself. I didn't want him to be dragged down by me whilst I try to do it, don't want him to be there pitying, helping, caring for me because I know it'll probably hurt him in the long run. 

I turn the radio over to a different station, not wanting to hear that song no longer. Airplanes by B.o.B comes on and I cry harder. I really do need a wish right now. I want to wish that everything is okay so I can feel happy and be able to run straight back into his arms like nothing happened; like that whatever I said last night was really just a drunken ramble that meant nothing. But it's all just a fantasy hope and I know it wouldn't happen with a snap of a finger. 

I reach over to the glove compartment, still looking ahead on the road and fumble inside for the bottle. Clifford sniffs my arm where it's draped in front of him and he swipes his tongue over the beads of sweat clinging to the hairs on my arms. I retrieve my hand back and unscrew the cap, pouring one tablet onto my lap. I throw it into my mouth and swallow it with a dry mouth, it feels like it's lodged in my throat and I begin coughing. 

I really should of brought water with me but I didn't think of that at the time. 

I take the next left and park up into the McDonald's drive thru. 

"Hello, welcome to McDonald's what will it be?" The lady on the other side asks into the mic.

"Hi there, can I have a large Coke and three bottles of water please. Um... I'll have a Cadbury McFlurry too please." I bite at my lip.

"Sorry, the ice cream machine is broken. Can I get you anything else?" 

I shake my head then realise they can't see me. "No thanks, just the drinks." I sigh and shift into gear, driving slowly to the window, handing my card over. 

"Please drive to the next window." A bald man motions over with a warm smile and I do as I'm told. 

At the next window, a lady with cropped hair hands me a cardboard cup holder with my Coke and waters in, then handing me a straw too. 

I give my thanks and drive away, unwrapping the straw from its paper wrapper and poke it into the hole in the top of the lid. It squeaks as it lowers into the cup. I take a sip and the fizz coats my tongue. 

My phone flashes for the tenth time, Harry's name filling the screen as it rings. I let it go to voicemail and it files into the notifications with the other texts and calls.