Find a Penny, Pick Her Up

Chapter 23

Thanksgiving was looming, which meant Grandma was planned to make her way back to us - with her new boyfriend. Grandma called me a few days a week giving me updates on how she finally managed to snag the neighbor, but also asking me how things were going with Market-boy. She meant Hampton, but swore she could "never remember his name, but knew it sounded exotic." I wouldn't necessarily describe his name as such, but Grandma was Grandma.

 Besides Jess, I hadn't told a soul about the secrets that Annie unleashed. Jess had been practically bouncing out of her seat when we started to drive away, thinking about they way Royal high was going to turn on their Queen bee, when I stopped her. 

"I don't know if I'm going to say anything," I said, looking out the dark window. There was a brief moment of silence, before she started to laugh. 

"What?" I looked to her. 

"That's funny, Penny," she grinned, turning on her blinker as she pulled into the left lane, stopping the car for the red light. 

"I'm being serious."

Jess's head whipped to mine, her ponytail swishing. "What are you even talking about?" 

I shrugged. "What would it gain? Yeah, I feel a little better, but I think I need some time myself to think about what Annie just told me." Jess was quiet, but listening. "Just give me some time, and then we'll figure out what to do." Okay, I'll admit - It was a half-lie. Yes, it was true that I needed some time to debrief a memory I had assumed was so correct for months, when in actuality was so false. While a small weight of relief was lifted from my shoulders, a pain still existed in the Jack-sized hole left in my chest. So with that, I bought myself some time to figure out what I was going to do. At that moment, I wasn't planning on actively doing something with the information I'd learned; it all had become too messy and tangled. And lately, when anything was suddenly too difficult to understand myself, I brought it to the one person who had a degree in solving dilemmas. That's how I saw it, at least. 

On the last day of school, I sat across Dr. Yao in the afternoon. I'd rode my bike straight from Royal high, and Shirley was parked - in all her purple and white glory - outside the office. 

"So what do you think about all this?" Her face had been interestingly calm throughout the entire riveting and juicy story. 

I shrugged. "I wasn't planning on telling anyone." 

"Why?" 

"Because," I paused, "I don't feel necessarily better that I know I wasn't the one driving. I mean, at first I did. But I had some time to think about it, and I'm thinking that there's a shared responsibility between the two of us - regardless of who was driving the car." 

She nodded, seeming impressed with my dissection. I guess I was, too. "Does Annie know you're not planning on telling anyone?" 

I hid a smile. "No."

Dr. Yao nodded slowly, a small smile of her own creeping forward. "I'm really proud of the fact that you texted Annie and made the step to meet with her."

"She just seemed really afraid," I said, thinking. I shrugged. "I felt kinda bad." At that moment, she closed her book and crossed her legs. It unsettled me, because there was never a moment when she didn't not have her legs crossed, and book open. 

"I think we can end early today," was all she said, peering at me. My face paled. Did I do something wrong? Say something wrong? "You didn't do anything wrong, Penny." And just like that, Dr. Yao read my mind once again. "This is a good thing. You've made huge progress." 

I straightened. "Really?" 

"Five weeks ago, did you ever think you would feel bad for Annie?"