Silent (jotakak)

Nightmare

Later that evening, kakyoin was sitting in his room, finishing up the last of his homework 'if I finish this quickly I'll have more time to play video games' he thought as he focused on a physics question 'I wonder if jotaro plays video games...' in fact he did not, he got easily stressed by timed levels, which many games had. He finished his homework, played some video games, had dinner with his parents, and gone to bed, although he had played more video games early into the morning before actually sleeping, minewhile jotaro was having some trouble.

In jotaro's room, he had finished a painting of a cherry, wanting to give it to kakyoin as a present 'maybe he'll find the present weird? We've only known each other for a day... no, I have to show him how grateful I am for his kindness, and for helping me, and for being so hot- okay, skip that last reason' he shook his head and put up the painting to dry overnight. In the bathroom he was getting ready for bed as he looked at himself in the mirror he had a look of... hatred, he hated how he looked, every last inch of himself, from his hair to his muscles, he clenched his hands as he shut his eyes trying to block out his thoughts, but they continued to echo through his head like a voice in a cave
"Scary, intimidating, frightening, menacing, hated, terrifying, creepy, petrifying, horrid,
EVERYONE IS AFRAID OF YOU"
He felt tears pricking at his eyes, 'those thoughts are so much worse today, probably because of those girls earlier'
"ITS NOT JUST THEM, ITS EVERYONE"
'Shut up'
"EVEN THAT KAKYOIN KID, YOU SAW THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU WHEN YOU MET HIM, THIS IS ALL A CHARADE, HE HATES YOU"
'SHUT UP'
"HE'S AFRAID OF YOU"

That final thought made him fall over the edge, his heart started to hurt and he began to shake, he fell to the ground against the corner of the wall in his bathroom, curling into a ball, he put his head on his knees as he tried to calm himself by rocking back and forth slightly, all those nasty words still taunting him in his head, it wasn't working, he was crying loud enough for his mom to hear from the other room, 'he's having another anxiety attack' she immediately put down her book she was reading and rushed over to his bathroom, the door was askew, she threw it open to see jotaro in a ball grabbing at his hair, mumbling "stop it" over and over again through his sobs, she dropped down to her knees and hugged him, this was really the only thing she could do, nothing else calmed him down enough
"It's okay, it's okay, no one is afraid of you, try to calm down" she stroked his hair as he tried to calm himself down, 'he hasn't had an anxiety attack in a while, what happened earlier?' He thought as she continued to stroke his hair, after about 15 minutes his sobs quieted down and he was shaking less, she put her hands on the sides of his head, lifting it up, he opened his red puffy eyes, he had tear lines on his cheeks, and a red nose
"Now, repeat after me: no one is afraid of me"
"N-no one, I-is af-fraid o-of me" he repeated shakily, he did this a few more times until the horrible thoughts went away and he calmed down more, she kissed him on his forehead
"No one is afraid on you, just remember that"
He gave her a weak smile, obviously tired from all the crying he had been doing
"Do you think you can get to bed?" She asked in a sympathetic tone as she stands up, he nodded in response and sniffled as he slowly got up
"Alright" she walked out of the bathroom, he washed his face with cold water, not daring to look in the mirror again, walking over sluggishly to his room, he got into bed and started to think about what happened earlier, 'that group of girls seemed to make it worse, but I think kakyoin made it a bit better...' 'kakyoin... he's so nice to me' he started to smile thinking about him
"ITS OUT OF PITY"
'No, it isn't' that voice came back
"HE DOESNT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND"
'Go away' he stopped trying to think and closed his eyes, and eventually, he fell asleep, but his mind didn't leave him alone

Jotaro opened his eyes and looked around, he was in a very crowded area, he was much taller than normal, everyone looked at him and became terrified, screaming and running away, the only words he could hear were
"its a monster!" He looked at himself, he was, some sort of giant black creature with claws, he tried to say 'im not a monster' but it came out as a terrible rawr, everyone freaked out more, he closed his eyes and covers his ears, but he could still hear everything
"Please stop!" He tried to shout, but nothing came out. He was woken up with sudden shaking, it was his mom, she could hear him shouting from the other room and ran to see if he was okay, he looked at her, realizing it was just a dream, she looked so worried, he quickly sat in an upright position and hugged her as he nearly started to cry, but he managed to hold it back
"Shh, its okay, it was just a nightmare" she reassured him as she pat his back, after a few minutes he let go
"Can you go back to sleep?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Well, try to get some rest"
"I will"
She left his room to go back to bed, he tried to get comfortable and soon fell back asleep, he had a different dream

Opening his eyes, he tried to understand his surroundings, it looked like his bedroom, but... different, there was something off about it but he couldn't tell what, he felt something next to him, more like someone, he looked next to him and it was... 'kakyoin?! Okay, this is definitely a dream... so it wouldn't hurt if I... cuddled him, right?' He scooted closer to him, and slowly put his arm around his waist, he smiled as he closed his eyes, he heard an extremely loud beeping that jolted him up from his pleasant dream, he was still really groggy from not getting much sleep, he got ready and ate his breakfast, he gave his his mom a goodbye kiss and started to walk to school
'Maybe I'll be able to see him on my walk to school' he thought as he got closer to kakyoin's house, just as he started to pass the gate he saw kakyoin running out the door
"Shit, im gonna be late! I shouldn't have played video games so much!" He wasn't looking where he was going and smacked into jotaro's chest (again) making him stubble back
"What the fuck?" He said as he looked up and realized it was jotaro, he looked surprised, both at the fact that he bumped into him and the fact that he swore, kakyoin put on his polite personality
"O-oh! Hi jotaro, I didn't see you there, sorry I bumped into you" he blushed and bowed noticing that he slammed into his chest for the second time, jotaro smiled and nodded at him. they started their walk to school, kakyoin talking about random things while jotaro listened, being around kakyoin comforted him, he didn't know why, he just felt... safe