The Flower I Saw That Day

The sun & The citrus

I)

It's December's edge and the sun has turned unkind.
The distracting silence of the room, constantly breaking with each and every echo of the clock ticks, Bombing the tensed atmosphere of the room without any mercy.
The Furious sounds of Graphite, being scribbled and Gritted on the torn down papers, making a perfect symphony of the Gloomy, Dismal days of back and whites.

Papers getting crumpled one after another, cups of coffee Going from full to brim to empty as if his heart , Angry mutters of nothingness and sweaty palms.Somebody was tired of fighting over and over for proving his existence.

Someone out there, holed inside his bothersome brain and cluttered studio, Among the crumpled papers and wires and shattered pieces of destroyed figurines was overworking his Exhausted brain again and again on the same, useless thoughts.
Namjoon felt like an Idiot chained to an invisible ten ton truck, a Don Quixote fighting against ruthless enemies that did not even exist. Was adulthood supposed to be this suffocating all the time ? And what's with writing all these love songs when in reality, he's not even sure if one exists for him out there ?

" You're my one, my one and only one . to hell with that."

He grunts in rage, muffling his desperate breaths into his sleeve. The worn off sleeve of the exact shirt Seokjin has borrowed too many times for him to count it with his fingers. It smelled like him. Smelled precisely like his sweet Aromatic citrus scent, and it made Namjoon's head all messed up . He should have never asked for His shampoo to get addicted to a fragranced aroma like this to begin with. But could he blame himself for that? He needed the comfort of a late night shower and his shampoo smelt like minty horseshit.
Or so he kept telling himself.

Fucking mints ruining his life everywhere.

" Why won't the smell go off though? thought I scrubbed the hell out of it last time..."

Which he sure did . In his defense, He was frustrated with the sweet smell to the point he was sure it almost always triggered his migraine without a fail . The very idea of lending his clothes to anyone was terrible enough for someone with a sensitive nose like him to begin with, but this was Seokjin he was talking about. Seokjin, whom Namjoon under no bloody circumstances could ever turn down, and it was so typical of him to be so . This was a curse Namjoon had been carrying in his heart ever since he's met Seokjin in that shaggy cafe and been complimented by him for his 'cute' band-aid. It had become a tradition at this point, and a well deserved material for the other's inside jokes, to which he was more than okay to comply with.
The only problem here, was his oversensitive brain, and a a bunch of unwritten songs buried deep within the messy folders of his desktop. maybe it had to do with the faint smell of freshly picked Clementines, because Namjoon honest to God felt like he was going insane.

He gets up with a loud sigh, closing his laptop and stretching his hands out . There must be something wrong with the way his stomach hurls and aches, but he doesn't want to give the possibility of being real to that thought. It must have been all the unnecessary doses of caffeine he took on an empty stomach afterall.
Idiot, idiot Namjoon.

A gentle knock on the door makes him untangled from the maze of mess in his mind with an annoyed huff, before getting up to unlock the door. It's been a habit of his to lock the door and win himself some piece and quiet amongst the nerve wrecking chaos of the world and naturally their dorm, and no one ever questioned the way he locked himself for hours inside a tiny suffocating room waiting for divine inspiration to magically take place. That was just them accepting how Namjoon's brain functioned and picked the words apart. But that still, wouldn't stop them from worrying their head off when he overstepped his game of being a workaholic, and that included a worried to death Jimin roaming around his studio every once in a while.
What could Namjoon possibly be against of at this point? that was just how Jimin's mind and heart worked, Worrying uselessly over a lost cause like him .