once

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And not once I find myself dying, but standing,
if in front of mirror then invisible,
if among people then unnoticed,
if on a busy road then permeable,
if under the lights then transparent,
if loved then untouched,
if touched then without consent,
if there then not looking back,
if here then not saying it,
if awake then empty,
if asleep then waking up late,
and not once it felt any different than dying really.

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