MY SECRET LOVE STORIES

HE DOESN'T WANT ME!!

Hello diary!! Sometimes it happens so fast. Real fast I mean.
Let me ink you with what happened to me. It kinda sounds funny and weird but you are my safe space, you should never judge me. Lol!
***

As much as I adore football, I love sceneries, sunsets, sunrises,stargazing and all cool and beautiful staff. I love art and this makes me love photography with everything I've got.

I work part-time at an organisation as the Magazine director and this gets me everywhere there's a thing for the magazine.
It gets me to know and understand the writers and photographers set of mind and there's one guy who stole my attention.

***
I was chilled at my desk when for the first time in almost  half a decade a tall calm slender and dark definitely hot guy passed in front. Well I'm normally not the naive type but his smooth sensational scent got my head up and my eyes quickly turned to see who had invaded.

Looking up to him, he was actually going to my desk for enquiries about the captions. Do you feel like I rushed to look at him???
Well think what you want because if it was you, you would be unbuttoning your blouse already! Lol.

"Hi, I'm Rob. The new Shuggar magazine photographer. Well I hope you are the director because I've been clearly directed to you".

***
He asked smiling and I think I could feel his fresh breathe. Im sure he uses pepsodent toothpaste because Yooo!!!! His breathe felt clean.
***
He showed me some samples which I definitely liked well not because he was composed physically but because they were worth my glance.
I showed him his desk, gave him what he required to feel at work and later directed him to the General manager for further info.
***
Can I be honest and tell you that by this time, I only saw how far we'd get as a team because his portfolio was a real deal and his CV as well was  catchy.
Did I mention he loves football?? No he actually lives football and this made me have more that a hundred ideas for our Org's sports portfolio.
***
He was getting comfortable around everyone and that was a good thing.
I liked the fact that every evening after the briefings, he would speedily gather the team and ask us to pose for a photo.

I hope you still remember that I'm short. Like short and almost the shortest in the office and this made me  be at the front always.
I liked being on the front as well because how I dress, would attract fashion nova for a business deal.

I liked how he'd focus, zoom in then out and just before taking a shot, he would hold my hand and place me somewhere better.
He was doing his job. But his hands were softer and so are mine.
***
He had long clean nails and a cold palm which I actually loved feeling everytime he'd hold mine.
Well my hands have a camouflage nature, sometimes they are super cold, sometimes extra warm, sometimes so shrunk but not unhealthy and sometimes just normal palms.
Whenever his cold hands were with mine, it was just something else because I could feel something inside my stomach up between my chest then sharply shoots down to someplace I cannot recall  currently because I mean he is not here for me to really explain the goosebumps.
***
Days passed and our bond was super strong. I missed him every time I got to the office earlier.
I'd look up to his desk to find no one and that would be the begin of a boring day but I'm lucky enough to be bipolar since no one would understand the drive of my moods. 
***
Sometimes when his schedule is for midday, leaning forward towards my desktop would only be disrupted by his scent. Then I would happily smile beneath then compose myself to lie to the world of how I felt nothing for Rob.
He'd definitely come to my desk first, give me a flavoured hug and hear me out, tell me two three things as he departs to his desk waving at the rest of our colleagues and rests on his seat removing his Nike designer cam bag from his neck and places it at the back of his desktop.
He powers on the machine, arrange some staff and looks at my desk only to find me acting busy to keep a low profile. Lol.
***
See, I already know his morning routine. I know when it's about lunch time, he'd call out for madam director in a shady way just to keep me in the know that lunch was on him. It always felt so nice to have a handsome photographer for a fooddiee.
It also felt so special to buy him goodies without expecting anything in return and now that I'm writing this, I feel like it would be the best bro_code ever if I had not done what I did.
As much as I learnt that regret is not my portion, I deeply miss him. I miss us.
***
An amazing day for our organisation was here. We were having a dinner party and this meant dressing to kill poverty and all types of stigma. Trust me we were all fitting in.
I had arrived a bit late but late is the game.
From a distance, I saw Rob doing what he does best. Taking pictures of course. He was taking shots of our social media manager who was a gem.
She is probably darker or maybe I am darker but she has this long smooth face with a natural smile and a dimple just at the end of her smile.
Her body is perfectly moulded and she fit in all types of clothes. Trust me she's a treasure!!
She was in a red headscarf, a black t-shirt with a red SUPREME label on the chest, a black maxi pencil skirt that motivated art lovers to admire mother nature. She was perfect for the event and deserved all types of shots.
***
I'm avoiding my description for that day but you'd be at peace knowing what I was dressed in. Should I let you know?
No there's always another occasion. For today allow me to celebrate the queens of the fashion.
Did I mention her?? Danielle? Our brand ambassador??
Please forgive my manners because this lady is something else.
She possess this wide round milky white eyes with a vivid brown pupil. She is light in complexion her smile isn't as broad as our social media manager but she is fire trust me.
For the event, she was in a white dress that hugged her body so tight and anyone with a good eyesight would drool to see more.
She was perfect and worth talking about.
***
Finally Rob came my way. He was charming and all happy and rocked in his outfit of course. Holding his camera, he smiled at me and was ready to take some shots.
Sometimes I get shy on set but when I gather all confidence from my ancestors I become something different.
If you knew some of my Hollywood fantasies you'd figure out how I pose for photos at events and red carpets. I mean I'm not perfect but my gallery is luring.
***
Danielle passed looking all sassy with her smile. Which I just realised wasn't that real but it was a good smile.
She waved at us and I kindly asked her to pose with me. She's a kind one, She did.
Until I saw Rob focus on her. Until when I saw how confused he was when she asked him questions that is when my face shrunk. My stomach started aching. I could feel butterflies inside me and my voice shuttered.
I kept my cool for a while and chose to take a bench for a giffy.
***
"Are you okay darling?? He innocently asked.
"Why??" I stupidly responded.
"You don't look okay to me. Are you troubled?"
"I'm okay Rob, something just grabbed my attention but I'm well. Thanks for the concern tho".
***
Danielle sat next to me. Rob was long gone to do his thing.
She left me her purse and phone and promised not to take long.
Was it intentional? Because she had not powered the screen off, no password or pattern required and to spoil it all, she left her IMO conversation with Rob.
I was also shocked to find out they talk. The emojis were wanting and all I could see is the F_word spreading all over the text.
It wasn't a good thing for my eyes. Neither for my feeling. I powered the screen off and had to breathe heavily for composure.
Rob wasn't my boyfriend. I wasn't his girlfriend either so getting mad was all on me.
***
They were laughing in a way we never did. Wow it was interesting to watch for the sake of you my beloved diary but encoding it, wasn't easy.
There was something special in the atmosphere.
They both loved me in a weird way  that I cannot explain and I love them back.
***
Departure was here. Everyone was busy biding each other goodbye and goodnight so was I.

Rob was busy with the general manager and I understood. So I took my leave towards the gate with some of my girlfriends.
I felt cold hands at the back side of my neck. Goosebumps again. Composure is important to me.
I turned and started explaining how busy he was. He giggled looked down at me, kissed my forehead and held my hands so tight and for a second I felt away.
I was confused and for a second he realised it and took it easy on me. He gave me a final hug and I started walking towards the gate only to find my hand still in his.
He was held on to me but when I looked into his eyes, he pulled me close and for a second I thought I was going to melt because of his kiss.
Danielle passed us in her drive, waved good bye and I read her lips towards Rob.
"Yesterday was good! I hope today too."
She smiled at both of us and drove off.
Rob looked confused for a while but still pull me close and said it finally.

"Everyone knows how much you love Hunter. Even without asking, they name you as the best weird couple in town. I respect that and so should you".

His words were the most foolish words I've heard in almost half a decade.
And I automatically thought he wanted me but was scared.
Although I knew Danielle was his prey.
He doesn't want me!!.