For Love's Sake || Jeno

10: Play with a full deck

Her stomach roiled with the dead bodies of butterflies that had been exterminated using insecticide.

Insecticide referred to Soomi's words.

"What?" Naeun asked again. Surely, she must have misheard.

Soomi leaned back on the bench. "I think Jeno likes me," she repeated. A frown played on her lips when she said, "he was about to ask me out only if he hadn't been interrupted by Mr. Kim."

Naeun let that sink in. The two did seem close today. Not to mention Soomi's hand on Jeno's shoulder, which he did not bother removing from his person. That image had been burned in her brain. And during the physical training class, the two were busy talking when the teacher told them off. Was that when Jeno was trying to confess his feelings to her? What awful place and timing.

"What do you think?"

"Huh?" Naeun was brought out of her thoughts and back to the bus stop.

"Do you think I should go out with him?" Soomi asked, twirling a strand of black hair on a slender finger.

"Why're you asking me?" She snapped.

Soomi only smiled. "Well, you seem to know Jeno well. So tell me, he's a good guy, isn't he?"

Naeun thought about how he had been taking care of her whenever she got in trouble because of him, and he even saved the kitten. "He is a good person," she admitted softly. Naeun imagined him with Soomi. Riding his bike with him, going to his fights, eating ramen outside of convenience stores late at night, being close to him physically. These phantom events ignited jealousy so searing in Naeun that she felt bile rise to her throat.

"The bus is here," she told Soomi and stood up quickly.

The next day, Naeun started avoiding Soomi and even Jeno. If he did not have feelings for Naeun, why spend time with him and fall for him deeper? She only spoke to him when spoken to and even then gave him half-hearted replies. She replied to his texts hours later and sometimes didn't even do that.

When he had asked her about her house situation, she wanted to thank him for his help, without which they probably would not be able to pay the rent. Instead, she had brushed him off, saying everything was alright now. At the end of the school day, she had rejected his offer to give her a ride home and did not even let him walk her to the bus stop.

Naeun felt horrible, guilty of making him feel unwelcome and mad for depriving herself of his company.

Treading slowly, she made her way towards her house but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight. Near the staircase where Jeno always dropped her off, he was leaning against his bike. Jeno folded his arms across his chest, and he gave Naeun a timid smile when their eyes met. The wind caressed his dark hair, combing and twisting it in a way that Naeun longed to do. He detached himself from his bike and walked towards Naeun while loosening his tie. She took a step back involuntarily, but Jeno maintained his pace.

He stopped a few feet away from her. "What... what are you doing here?" Naeun squeaked.

"I thought about it long and hard but I still can't figure it out," he said.

"What?"

"What I did to drive you away." Naeun felt a chill take over her, and it was not because of the cold. "I came to get the answers directly from you. Why are you suddenly avoiding me, Naeun?" He asked gently. The girl was baffled. What happened to the Jeno who gave everyone a scathing look? Or the Jeno who had intimidated her when she found his secret?

"I'm not," she lied shamelessly. Jeno rolled his eyes. "I have to go," she said and tried to walk past him, but he caught her hand, stopping her.

"I'm not letting you leave unless you tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," Naeun answered harshly. "Why does it matter to you anyway? Whether I avoid you or not should not matter to you."

Jeno gave her an incredulous look. "Why shouldn't it matter to me?"

"Because..." you like Soomi, not me. She couldn't bring herself to say it.

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Alright, tell what I did wrong?" Feeling terrible, Naeun looked away from his pleading gaze. Jeno placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head so that she should look at him. "What did I do?" He asked again.

Naeun took a step back. "You're doing it again," she said. "Stop."

"What? What am I doing?" Jeno questioned, perplexed.

"Right now, you're making me believe that you care about me," She said, gritting her teeth. "You're going to give me hope only to crush it again. And I hate this game." She stomped away, leaving a baffled Jeno behind. But he caught her hand when she was halfway up the stairs.

"I don't understand. What hope? And when did I crush it?"

Naeun's face burned. Was she supposed to answer that too? As if she wasn't mortified enough. She exhaled slowly. She had already embarrassed herself; why not go all the way? "You keep doing things that make me think you might like me. All I'm asking is for you to not that anymore because it can give someone the wrong idea." Understanding finally dawned on Jeno's face. "But don't worry," Naeun continued, "I won't be mistaken again." She continued her ascent.

Once again, Jeno stopped her by clutching her arm. "Okay, tell what I did to crush your hope, as you put it." But Naeun was having none of that. She yanked her arm away and stomped up the stairs. Couldn't he see how humiliating it was for her? And why was he acting this way when he was about to ask Soomi out.

"Naeun!" Jeno called as he raced behind her. "All these things I did-" he matched her pace - "I actually wanted you to think that I liked you."

Naeun froze. "What?! You wanted me to be mistaken."

"Not mistaken," Jeno said, unable to suppress his grin. "I like you," he admitted shyly.

Naeun felt her heartbeat escalate rapidly. She shook her head, "stop lying," she said, uncertain.

"Why would I lie about this?" He frowned.

"Because... you like Soomi." She couldn't meet his eyes.

"No, I don't," he said, incredulous. "Who gave you that idea?"

Naeun studied his face; was he telling the truth? The longer she looked at him the redder his face and ears became. Finally, Jeno broke their gaze and stepped back. "Say something," he muttered.

Then it dawned on her; Jeno had just confessed to her. She had been so busy thinking about Soomi's words that she didn't pay attention to Jeno's. Naeun looked at her feet. "I don't know what to say," she admitted.

"Well... do you want to... go out on a date with me?" He asked, rubbing the nape of his neck.

If Naeun said yes, it would start something between them. And Naeun was already plagued with so many doubts; relationships normally did not start like that, not to mention meeting Jeno for the first time was anything but normal.

But Naeun did not have any dating experience whatsoever, and she did not want to think too much about this one.

Unable to say something, Naeun nodded. "Alright, then," Jeno was evidently relieved. "I'll see you tomorrow. And uh.. I'll text you the time," he added hurriedly before making his way down the steps. At the bottom of the staircase, he turned around to give Naeun a smile and mounted his bike.

xxx

Wow, we made it to the 10th chapter, albeit slowly. Hope you liked it!