Running out of time.

I guess this is good bye?

You know that quote:
"You didn't recognize me when I was here, don't give me any recognition when I'm gone."
Well that applies to my situation. Although it'd be great if it were:
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But that'd be ironic. If only I'd make myself stronger.
Let me introduce myself,
Hi my name is Dave Strider. I'm 17 years old, and this is my suicide note. Wait, that's hella cliche. Okay, where do I start?
I've never had parents... not that I know of at least. My brother raised me until I was fourteen, I watched him die in a knife fight. I found out that I had a half sister Rose. Her mom was a whore and slept with my brother; she was pregnant.
I went to live with them and right when I showed up they made Rose and I take care of the baby bro, Dirk. We couldn't go to school because we had to take care of our drunk ass mom and the crying baby. It was annoying. One day we were forced to take Dirk to daycare with a little boy named Jake's family. While we were there, our "mom" threw a party. There was an unwanted visiter... A man named Jack snuck into the party and slaughtered everyone there, including our mother and our neighbor John's dad.
Leaving me alone again.
John, Rose, and I against the world. Baby Dirk stayed with Jake's family but they refused to take us because of some "we would out grow it too fast." Bullshit. There were four of us... but at the party, out late friend Jade chased her dog into the wrong room at the wrong time. She was my girlfriend. Was.
There were no funerals, no one would show up because we sure as hell couldn't drive at 14 and no one else cared. Plus, it was too messy to tell who's who. At age 15 we all had to work three jobs, Four, for John. We illegally rented an apartment under the name of bro. Everyone says we looked alike so I just threw on a hat and boom we have a house.
At age 15 we were back on the streets. They kinda found out they we were underaged... Since we were too young to be on our own, or live in a shelter, we were sent to an orphanage at the west side of town. Damn was this place ghetto. Once we settled down rose told us about Roxy. When she was a little man, no, woman? Anyway, she swallowed some of "mom's" antidepressant bs. She passed away.

Being the oldest I got a license first. We all pitched in with money and bought a white 2008 ford. Rose explained that white was technically every color or something so we didn't fight over red and blue. We all hightailed out of that shithole of an orphanage and registered for school. That was the first time in 2 fucking years.
While there, John dated this girl named Vriska. Everyone hated the bitch to be honest. Rose came out as a lesbian and started dating a fashionista named Kanaya. I also embraced the gay and started dating a short guy named Karkat. Like the rest of my life, our relationship ended tragically. He started to get aggressive and he hit me. Several times.
One night, we were all hanging out when he started acting up. He slapped me and kanaya, being the tallest, stood up in motherly instinct. Her and Karkat stared off as Rose and I were hella confused. Karkat jumped at kanaya, and just like that, she fell to the floor. Karkat had a knife.
John pulled out his phone and called the cops and shit.
She was fine, but Rose wasn't. She, just like our "mom," started drinking again. Kanaya stayed in the hospital for a while and Karkat went to jail.

All that's left of our group:

Rose drunk ass Lalonde.
Dave fuck up Strider.
John unstable Egbert.
Kanaya still hanging on Maryam.
last and surly least
Vriska no on cares Serket.

Okay boo boo, sappy sob story bullshit. It's still not over yet.

My blind friend from first grade Terezi is all obsessed with the law. Well, apparently John's bitch Vriska pushed someone off a motherfucking cliff. Who the fuck does that?! Anyway, Terezi and Vriska used to be, basically sisters, until the law got to TZ's head. After she found out, boom death penalty for Vriska.
Secretly, we were all a little relieved. As fucked up as that sounds, we were done with her nonchalant bullshit. All of us except John.
Rose is basically the therapist of us all, and her being intoxicated out of her mind all the goddamn time, we had no help.
By now, April 2, 2015 Kanaya is back out of the hospital. Rose is enlightened, so less drinking? Terezi got a raise. Dirk is in preschool now. But, John and I, we're still fucked up.
I told him I liked him last week. He said he was straight and couldn't get over Vriska. Being me, I apparently can't cry without being criticized. So, I started cutting again, to get my emotion out. On Wednesday, last week, we all went to the pool. And woopty
Fucking doo! John saw my cuts! Now he fucking blames himself! No! That's not fucking okay John! I fucking swear if you're reading this don't blame yourself damnit. John, I love you. So damn much. But, you don't love me. No one does. I'm just a burden. All I do is spend the money we could all use for my own shit. That's all I do! So, with this, I'm gonna kill myself today. I know, that's a "shitty reason." but I don't give a flying fuck. It's too late. If you found this, I'm fucking dead. It's over. No more Dave fuck up Strider. Now Rose, when you're at a legal age, get dirk back. Start a family with kanaya. My bro was a hero, John is, I'm not. So, while I leave this godforsaken shithole, I have one thing left to say. Do not cry. Do not. It's not gonna bring me back. Rose, make me proud. John, burn all the smuppets... I don't need to remember bro any more, I'm with him now. Kanaya could you make sure John looks hot at my funeral? Thanks. Oh and Terezi, keep being you.

I'm sorry John.
I'm so fucking sorry.

When you find me, I'll be smiling, because I'm no longer sad, I helped you guys. And that, that is the most I could fucking do.

Goodbye friends.

- Dave fuck up Strider.