The Forest

Nightmare Log 2

"I don't know. I think I'm awake. . . But. . . Jesus, I don't know. Okay, I'm awake. I am. Jesus. Snap out of it, for fuck's sake. I'm awake!"

I gulp down water from the bottle on my nightstand and take a deep breath, starting over.

"That was so god-damn awful. I-I can't stop shaking. I think I screamed, but I'm not sure. I've never-. . . Jesus, I don't even know. I just-. . . Okay. Okay. Just fucking enough already! Dammit!"

I compose myself again and rub my temples, gnawing the skin from my lips with my teeth until they bleed, a habit that only resurfaces when I'm stressed or anxious. How will I explain that to my mom in the morning? Oh, who cares about that now?

"You know those nightmares where everything seems perfectly normal? Where you're in a place you know like the back of your hand, and everything is exactly how it would be if you were awake? So. . . You can't really be sure you're totally dreaming, yet you can't be all that certain you aren't awake?

"Yeah. Right. Well. I thought I had woken up from a nightmare. One of those simple ones that mean nothing but are still scary. I thought I woke up, so I got out of bed. Everything was exactly how it was supposed to be. Just the apartment, same as always, just, you know, dark.

"I walked through the hall to the big living room. Mom had left the curtains open, so I could see all the lights across the city. Everything was fine, just fucking normal. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't, even if I couldn't see anything that shouldn't be there. I couldn't hear anything other than the normal nighttime sounds of the building either.

"I could just feel it. I just knew, you know? Like you do in dreams, the way some things are just certain, like there's no questioning them. . . I just knew I wasn't alone."

I swallow the break in my voice, taking another swig from my water bottle.

"I looked. I really did. Every last corner and shadow. I'm pretty sure I was thinking about the photos, or maybe I just knew to check the darkest places. I don't know why it's this way, but I guess it's just that I'm aware of it. . . Him. . . It. Honestly, I don't even know anymore.

"Anyway, there wasn't anything. Nothing I could see, anyway. . . But I could still feel it, could still feel. . . .something. Oh, I know that feeling – it felt like it was watching me. I walked out onto the balcony, where everything was really still and quiet. Despite there being lights everywhere I looked, it felt like there wasn't a soul around to see them but me. As if the city was empty, left everything as it was and simply vanished.

"I remember specifically noting that it was warm, though I knew that it was an odd piece of information for me to store.

"I looked down at the park, where the lights stayed on, there, too. They're always on, even at night, even after the park closes. The lights cast shadows everywhere, stretching them long and thin as they bled into the trees. And-. . . There was something down there. Something moving.

"Okay, I know you probably don't believe me, and haven't this whole time. But I know what I saw in Juliette's pictures, and I know what I read about. I know what I've seen in the shadows while I'm fully awake and alert. It was there. Tall and thin and black. Moving in the trees, so slowly I'm still not even sure it was actually moving, and yet I know it was. Long tentacle limbs like narrow branches and entirely made of angles.

"So many tentacles it could probably cause harm to anything and anyone with barely a – no. nope. I'm not going to think about that. Not now. Jesus, this is so fucked. I'm done, dude.

"Just fucking done."