if one of them is dead.

chapter thirty.

Lilith.

"I'm back," I say, drawing out the A. My fingers close quickly into my palm in a type of wave.

Everyone looks shocked to say the least.

Oops?

A cold breeze runs through the hall, and the slit in my dress flows around my legs little. It's such a dark green that's it's almost black.

My leather jacket is covering the rest of me, the parts I don't want anyone to see.

My dad takes a step back. Minerva puts a hand over her heart. And Dumbledore shakes his head slightly, probably in disbelief.

I didn't tell him this part of my plan.

"Not as entertaining as I thought it would be, hm?" I ask, starting to walk down the stairs.

When I pass people, they all look at me as if I'm the walking dead.

Apparently I am. I mean, everyone here except for Dumbledore thought I was dead for the past almost half year.

The dress doesn't show any of the scars on my body, and the jacket is covering my arms. No one will see those either.

When I get to the Slytherins, I walk over to Blaise and kiss his cheek, doing the same to Draco and Pansy. They all stand there, stiff and scared and confused.

When I get in front of Mattheo, I cup his cheek gently and press my lips to his quickly before pulling away. He furrows his brows and searches my eyes, trying to see if I'm real or fake.

Awkward.

"My darlings," I whisper, smiling at them. "I missed you all."

Dumbledore clears his throat. "Go back to your rooms!"

They are all terrified.

And I think that's wonderful.

Mattheo looks like he thinks he's going crazy when I hook my arm through his and we start walking to the dungeons. Everyone else in Slytherin hesitantly follows after us.

I get many 'hello's from the paintings as we walk by, and I try to return the favor to them all. We pass Nearly Headless Nick, and he tilts his head to me. I nod to him and he smiles.

Mattheo is still staring at me as if I'm both the only thing and the most confusing thing in the world.

I can hear the whispers of everyone else behind us, but I keep my head held high like it doesn't bother me.

We get to the common room and enter. I said down where I normally would have at the couch next to the fireplace.

Mattheo sits down at the other side of the couch, still watching me. Draco comes in and tugs at Pansy's hand to sit with him on the loveseat. She whispers something to him when they sit down, and Blaise sits diagonal from me on the other couch.

The other Slytherins circle in, sitting their normal spots too. After a little while of us sitting here awkwardly, and me smiling a little at my friends and boyfriend, the conversation in the common room got a little louder.

Perks and Davis wave Astoria Greengrass over, squeezing into the spots on the other couch.

Perks leans forward, trying to grab my hands. I let her grab my fingers, but nothing more.

She shakes her head. "Lilith, we were all so heartbroken. We thought you were dead—"

"That's what Dumbledore told us," Davis interrupts.

Perks nods. "We all— we all hoped you would come back. And you did!" She sighs happily. "And we're all so glad you're here. We were all so lost without you."

I nod and smile a little. "I'm glad you're glad. It's wonderful to be back."

They all stand up and pat my shoulder lightly, which I have to try and not wince at.

"Guys," Blaise says quietly, leaning towards Draco and Pansy. "I'm happy she's back, but this isn't the Lil I know."

I roll my eyes after Astoria says a 'please don't leave us again' and walks away.

"Jesus Christ," I mutter, "fucking two faced whores."

"There she is," Blaise says, a smile growing on his face.

"Lilith—" Pansy starts.

"You're going to ask me what happened," I say, and she nods. "I can't tell you that, Pansy. I'm sorry. I would love to, but it's just something I can't tell about. Not now anyway."

Mattheo scoffs, finally getting out of whatever trance he was in. He crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. "Well maybe you can't tell them," he says, standing up and grabbing my wrist. The bracket digs into my skin. I'm hoisted off the couch, and he starts dragging me towards the stairs. "But you can sure as hell tell me."

Great.

He opens his door and shoves me in the room, closing and locking the door when he comes in the room.

"What the fuck, Lilith?" he asks, almost shouting. He looks at me like I'm crazy and runs both his hands through his hair.

"What?" I ask, acting clueless.

"What?" he repeats. "You were fucking dead, Lilith," he says, starting to pace in front of me. "You were fucking dead for months, and you come back like you've been alive this whole time? How the hell does that work? What the fuck have you been doing? Why the hell didn't you ever want to get undressed in front of me? Why the fuck have you been wearing long sleeves always. And why the fuck are you acting like nothing is wrong?"

I shrug. "That's a lot of answers I can't tell you, Mattheo."

"Lair," he spats, glaring at me. "Fucking tell me, Lilith. I swear, if you don't answer my damn questions, I will break up with you right now."

"Come on, Mattheo," I say. He's not serious, is he?

"I'm fucking serious," he says, sighing. "And why the hell won't you let me into your head? What the hell are you hiding?"

"Mattheo, can't we just forget about it?" I ask. "I really don't feel like talking about it all right now." Or ever.

"No," Mattheo snaps, stopping his pacing to look at me for a second before starting to pace again. "You need to tell me. I know you lie about shit. I need you to tell me everything, and it all needs to be the truth. No lies. No half truths."

I sigh. "It's a long story, Mattheo."

"Do you think I give a shit?"

"Fine." I sigh. "We're going to go semi-slow on this, okay?" He nods, looking suspicious.

Good.

"What do you want to know?"