Was it real ?

"All in or nothing"

Miya POV
I went home and wanted to literally drown my self in sorrow because I didn't understand what I had ever did to make him want to hurt me as bad as he did I know I said I'll forgive him but it still hurts and I want him to hurt like I had I remember I went a whole week without looking in a mirror because the reflection of my self made me cry and as I thought about it I wiped away my tears that streamed down my face and as they came down my face his palms wiped and wiped my face it was silent he didn't know what I was thinking or even feeling but he knew I needed help and he was there I all of a sudden got angry because why tf wasn't he there when I needed him the most why wasn't he there when I cried and cried until my eyes burned and why tf didn't he bother to care and as I think about it I'm even a bigger dumb ass because I allowed this mother fucker to have a bigger control on my emotions then I did and with anger flushed all over me I said it i said it and really I didn't give a fuck any more, KEON why didn't you care ? what did I ever do for you not to love me as much as I tried I gave it my all and you played me like the dumb ass you are he nodded his head but that wasn't enough for me no mother fucker I screamed I want you to fight __fight because that's something you never fucking did for me I looked at him with tears filled in my eyes begging him to say something and then I seen a stream of tears down his face and he yelled out damn miya I'm sorry I know I did you wrong and I would take it all back if I could but I can't I'm sorry and as soon as he said thoses words I felt like I could now swallow the lump in my throat and breath keon walked to me and put him thumb on my bottom lip and brushed it across my face he slowly ran his nose across my tear stained cheeks and whispered in my ear "All In Or Nothing" I smiled because he use to say that to me back when _________ but I never understood what he really meant by it he caressed my neck with his lips and tongue he was licking and bitting I could barely breath it felt so good but I knew he was so so so so bad for me so I pulled back both us in shock and broken at this point I told him I just wanted to lay down he grabbed my hand and intwined his fingers In mine and we walked slowly upstairs I could feel his eyes burning my back we entered my room I slowly took off my clothes and he did the same we were left with just our under clothes on and we got into the bed and looked in each other fucked up eyes and really at the moment it was like my eyes was my heart we looked at each other hurt,worried ,fearful and unsure hearts but we went along with this any way because we knew we lived for the love and died for the love I looked and just watched and as I looked flash backs and more of us came back to me

Flash back
Miya i love you he mumbled out i looked up with fear because it was the first time he's ever said that to me I smiled and said I love you to it was a late night and we just sat on the old playground looking at the stunning stars he turned to me and said one day that will be us and at the moment all I could do was smile I was nervous as hell and didn't know what was suppose to happen now he took my hand and stood both of us up and looked deeply in my eyes and said I'll guide you just look at me never worry because I'll always guide you I stood there with a fearful heart and said but what if you leave what if it's to dark and you can't guide me threw the light anymore or what if we both go to blind and we can't seem to find the right anymore he just looked at me and said all the what if's will leave you at a what if and we will never no until we try I smiled and we started to dance under the stars that would be us one day we danced and danced until it was midnight and he walked me home in the dark until we were under the street light that stands across the street from my home and he kissed my cheek and gently said "All in or nothing" and that's why till this day he says that to me my memory was crashes when keon brings me to reality
By putting a piece of my hair behind my ear and said miya were not together and we will never be apart not again I love you and I want you to know that's from the heart and I nodded and said keon that's what you say now until I'm acting out with mood swings but I love you to and right then and there I turned my back to him still tightly wrapped in his arms and fell sleep with no more thoughts