Eat
*****
IT WAS wrong. Rita knew that but she just couldn't resist and say no. Para siyang nahihilo sa bawat dampi ng labi nito. The way he explored her mouth felt heaven. Hindi niya alam kung dahil sa kawalan niya ng karanasan kaya iyon ganoon o sadyang magaling lamang ito.
She couldn't even think straight. It was like she was hypnotized. Para siyang lasing na lango sa matamis nitong halik. She was feeling weak when he stopped. She saw the desire in his eyes. That same desire from last night.
Doon siya tila natauhan. It was all wrong. She grew up following the norm and now she's the one breaking it. Hindi tama ang lahat. They started wrong.
Lumayo siya sa binata na halatang nalito sa ginawa niyang. She shook her head so she can somehow think straight.
"This is wrong," she said guiltily and looked at him. "Hindi na 'to dapat na mangyari pa. Last night's already a mistake. Huwag na nating dagdagan pa."
His eyes became darker. The desire turned into something. Anger? She doesn't know. Hindi niya mabasa kung ano ba ang iniisip nito ng mga sandaling iyon. But she knew that what they're doing is so wrong. Lalo na't alam nila kung ano ang kinalalagyan nilang posisyon.
"Well for me, this is fun." He said without any humor. "Let's see how long will it take for you to give in. We already fuck. What's wrong if we do it again?"
She breathe heavily as she could feel her anger. Galit dahil sa sinabi nito. Galit dahil hindi tila hindi nito naiintindihan ang sitwasyon. Galit dahil tila wala naman itong pakialam sa iba. Like what happened last night was just a usual thing for him. Siguro para rito, oo. Normal na iyon. Ngunit para sa kanya, malaki iyong pagkakamali.
"I can't believe I lost my virginity to someone like you." She said, spiteful. "I should never really trust a stranger. Lalo na kung kagaya mo." She gritted her teeth in anger. Ikinuyom ang mga kamay dahil baka masampal niya ito.
His lip twitch, like he's used to hearing those words that it doesn't affect him anymore. "Whatever you say. I have my ways, Rita. I can get what I want, in that case, I want you."He licked his lips before leaving her unable to move.
Naramdaman niya ang panghihina ng mga tuhod. She held onto the cabinet next to her. This shouldn't be happening. This should never happen again.
She was restless the next day. Napansin iyon ng mga kapatid niya. They just finished breakfast and she was about to get ready for work when Dave followed her to her room.
"Ate..."
Nilingon niya ito. He was sitting on her bed, looking at her like he was trying to read her mind.
"What?" Walang emosyon na tanong niya rito. "Do you need anything? My car?"
Dave shook his head. "Are you sure about marrying that guy?"
She sighed and smiled a little. Alam naman niyang nag-aalala ang mga ito sa kanya. Bruno had been bugging her thru chat messages. Halos i-block na nga niya ito dahil sobrang kulit. He had been telling her to ditch the guy and find someone who she loves and be happy. But right now, there's no one. She didn't even have the time to find one anyway. She's busy building up her career so her father will be proud of her. She wanted his attention so bad. Kaya nga lahat ng gusto nito ay sinusunod niya.
"I'm sure Papa knows what's the best for me." Ipinagkibit balikat niya lamang iyon.
" It's you who should know what's the best for you, Ate. Not Papa."
She knows that. Ngunit hindi lang niya talaga magawang suwayin ang ama. The first time she let herself do something recklessly, without her father knowing, turned out to be a big mistake. What happened at the bar was the biggest mistake that she wanted to bury under the ground. Kaya nga susundin na lamang niya kung ano ng gusto ng ama. She can't trust herself anymore with making her own decisions in life.
