~🎇Defying gravity🎇~

~ ♥Chapters 2 ♥ ~

Of course, I had to do it secretly because of my mom's great expectations "be a lawyer!" she always demanded, but fashion was different, it made me a whole different person it was like a portal that brought me to a world of endless laughter, no pain, no anxiety and no worrying about when death will be at my doorstep.

Genuine smiles and laughter coming from diverse people that popped in my mind. Suddenly, my brain froze, my ears listened attentively. "Oh crap" I whispered under my tongue, it was mom, and she was home early. I scooted out of my chair hastily I rushed back and forth panicking and struggling to put all my fabrics, fashion accessories and dress in my closet I could hear her climbing up the steps each one getting louder than the last with a high note creak coming at the end.

I quickly grabbed a book on the studies of law, jumped onto my bed, turned on my side lamp and as soon as I caught my breath the door opened my mom's head was poking out, she studied the layout of my room with her eyes as I tried to keep my cool. "Good" she replied, seeing that I was following her orders, of becoming the perfect lawyer. Not knowing I was only imitating of doing so. As she slowly closed the door, I slowly followed her to see that it was fully closed. I didn't continue my designs that night; my mom entered my room to frequently for me to make a game to see how long I could keep my lungs from evaporating.

After five minutes it was 8:59.pm, and I knew what would happen in the next ten seconds when the hour & minutes hand hit 9 o'clock my mind would go blank, my vision would become blurry, my lungs would be begging for air, and I would sink into my abyss of nothingness it always happened and as usual no one was there to pull me out. I could not sleep that night, I felt bad, but the thoughts kept on swirling around my head that it was all my fault of what happened. These thought always came one way or another, even if I had the best day, my inner voices would always find something negative to make my attacks barge in. But that wasn't it, it felt like I had handcuffs stuck to my bed, I couldn't move, I couldn't gasp for air, these thoughts were haunting me, my voice was out of my reach, the darkness, no light, no happiness, it was my fault, It's really hard to keep my mind straight, the only thing I could think about is the username ~complex_73~ churning around.

Whispers, screams I cannot control, no help, no nothing. I was afraid of some specific occurrence or problem that could make me worried, restless, and I felt changes in my heart rate. I was hyperventilating, and then I felt chills, and a sense of impending doom. Furthermore, I began to shake. Then I woke from the horrible nightmare.

I sat up with hesitation, holding my shoulders, pinching my back because of this horrible nightmare , I started laughing to get rid of my anxiety, but I thought that I was somehow insane, so I quickly started to text my friends even though it was late, but I know they will be there for me, -WELL I THINK- I grabbed my phone which was on my desk and said-