Unreachable

Chapter 3 ~Barely Above

TW- mentions of ED/very little suicidal thoughts/Panic Attack/Vomiting.

5:53. The clock on the nightstand read. After leaving Cordelia's office you brought out your painting supplies. Something about channeling your stress through each brushstroke of every color imaginable helps you. Each finished piece has a story behind it and it's yours to bring to the table.

A knock on the door brought you back to focus. Putting down the paintbrush you turned the knob revealing Cordelia on the other side. "Hi dear." Giving a shy hello you walked back over towards the canvas. Cordelia hadn't been in your room yet or checked on you since you arrived, the paintings that hung on the walls sucked her into the rooms embrace. She didn't say a word just kept admiring the work on the walls with her mouth gaped open. "Did you do these?" Looking back at her with a smile "Yeah. Every single one." Nobody had ever taken any interest in your work so you weren't used to people being impressed.

"Do they mean anything?" The blonde was now over by the paintings by the window. "Some of them." You swished the paint brush in a cup of water. "What about this one." She pointed to one you did when you were on the edge of life. (Picture above) A time when ending it all maybe wasn't such a bad idea. "Oh. That's a dark one." You walked over next to her. "Tell me the story." Your eyes hit the floor Cordelia noticed this was a habit when you were uncomfortable. "You don't have too." It's better if I talk it out. I already told her everything. Why not?
"You know when someone is struggling so much, it's equivalent to drowning and your head is barely above. One voice tells you, relax, just let go." You grazed your hand over your signature in the corner of the painting. Cordelia stared at you with worry yet admiration of how strong you seemed. "But the other voice tells you, just keep going. Don't give up, keep fighting." The worry vanished from her. "And you did." Giving her a soft nod as you once again were making eye contact that felt safe.

Breaking the moment shaking your head slightly, you continued your focus on the new story you were creating. Cordelia looked at the clock 6:20. "Oh- um I came in here to tell you dinner is ready."

dinner? No- don't. "I'll be down in a second." Cordelia nodded closing the door behind you not seeing the tears streaming down your face. Wiping your face in the bathroom there was a door you didn't notice before. A light could be seen coming from the other side. Jiggling the knob, locked.

Brushing it off, you headed downstairs to the dinning room where everyone sat except Delia leaving two chairs empty. The two girls you had met before waved you towards the table. You sat across from Zoe who was next to Nan at the end of the table. Cordelia came in seconds after sitting at the head of the table but opposite end of you.

The food was brought out by this grimy looking butler who stayed silent when you thanked him. Cordelia tapped her glass with the prongs of the fork to grasp everyone's attention. "Everyone, we have a new student with us." She looked in your direction along with all the other girls. "This is y/n. Please make her feel welcome." Cordelia seemed to say the last part to another blonde that you later found out went by Madison. The other girls introduced themselves as Queenie, Mallory,Coco. Later on in the dinner a frizzy red head, Myrtle asked you questions for the whole table to hear like, where are you from? What abilities do you have? Before the woman got carried away Cordelia stopped her.

Looking at everyone else's plate throughout dinner you saw how empty theirs' were compared to yours. They're gonna know. Why can't I just eat?
Taking a few bites was enough to make you feel nauseous. Pushing the plate away you asked Zoe if you could be excused. "Yeah, go ahead". Running up the stairs back to your bedroom.

Cordelia was one to notice things especially when it came to you. She'd been making eye contact with you all night. She saw you lean over to Zoe before running off. She gave the brunette a look. Zoe shrugged her shoulders, Cordelia got up following after you.

You ran to the bathroom locking the door behind you. Sitting on the tile floor with your knees to your chest with your eyes closed trying to breath. You had ate too much today. The thoughts were loud about it too. You knew there was only one thing to make yourself feel better. "Y/N! open up honey. What's wrong?" Cordelia was panicking behind the door. She could hear your soft sobs. You didn't care so you did what your mind told you to do.

You started to stick your finger down your throat. Delia teleported herself inside the bathroom but it was too late, you were already hovered over the toilet throwing up what little you ate. "NO! no no no." She lifted you up against her body, tucking stranded hairs behind your ear as you cried into her chest.  "I'm sorry. I'm sorry" you continued to say with each one getting softer. Cordelia cupped your cheeks with her palms "look at me, look at me. It's not your fault " she held you closer.

    You stayed like this for what seemed like forever. You hadn't felt this cared for all your life, but you wished it wasnt for the reason it was.
----------

-im in a writing mood so yall get 2 chapters. (Plus the previous one wasnt very eventful)