|Afterglow|Taylor Swift|

|Chapters 18|Mind Control|

Unedited

Sam's POV

I made it back to the apartment and went straight to my room.  When the door clicked I collapse to the floor hissing slightly. I try to keep my brain calm but it only wants to betray me.

She doesn't care

You don't matter

He's better for her

They wouldn't stop.

My phone buzzes and I see a message notification pop up, Taylor.  My heart races and I can't think straight. I feel like a stranger at this point.

Taylor💚

Hey, did you make it home?
Seen

Sam please answer
Seen

Is this still about earlier?
Seen

Goodnight

The blue dot telling me she was messaging  went out.  I drop my phone and and start to cry.  I shake my head as the realization comes over me.

I have to let her go, if I don't he might hurt her. I lay on the ground and cry myself to sleep.  My mind races and I don't get much sleep.

-

I wake up stiff and it doesn't take long for everything to rush back to me.  I feel numb and dead at the point.  I push myself up and lean against the door.

I look down at my arm and pull the sleeve up.  I look over the scars  and remember everything that happened.  Every one represents something painful.

I look over at my dresser and blankly look at it.  I push myself up and open the droor. I stare at the blade, something in the back of my head told me no.  The words of Taylor's husband echo in my head.

I bring the blade up to my skin, one swipe and Taylor's gone.  One cut and I can let her go.  One cut and I'm alone again. I watch the blood drip down my arm but I don't feel it.

All sense other than sight seem to fail.  I feel the vibration of a door opening at hitting the wall.  Hands wrap around my wrists and I drop the blade.

I look over to see Emma and she looks upset.  I look at her blankly unable to understand the words that she is saying.  She seems to notice because she shuts up and drags me out of the room.

She sits me on the couch and grabs some bandage.  She covers all the scars, so they were out of sight.  I look at her in the eyes.  She was crying.

"Sam what happened" she asked.  I was slightly shocked that I could hear her. I looked back down at my arms. Hugging myself I start to cry.

She sighs and hugs me, she doesn't need me to tell her exactly what happened.  She knows.  I grip onto her not wanting to let go. She rocks back and forth and I let out a heavy sigh.

-

The week passes and Taylor call.  It happens every morning and night, probably before and after work.  She always texts goodnight and good morning. I cry every night and I find myself longing, wishing for her.

Nothing has ever hurt this bad.  I've been through so much pain but nothing like this.  I hug my knees watching the window from the couch.

I hear a knock on the door, probably Emma. She forgot her keys again.  I drag myself to the door and open it slightly.

I see shoes that look nothing like Emma's.  I slowly look up at Taylor and gasp trying to close the door.  She stops me and I gasp looking at the ground.

"Sam, please" she said.  The sound of her voice makes me freeze.  I hug chest and allow her to push the door open.

I step back as she steps forward. I let out a shaky breath thinking about her husband.

"Why did you ignore me?" Taylor asked.  I felt her blue eyes scanning me.  They landed on my wrists and she sighed. "Emma told me what happened"  she said reach for my wrists.

Her delicate hands wrap around them and I flinch.  I look up at her unable to keep eye contact.

"What did I do? I thought we were ok?" She said pulling me closer.  I wanted to relax into her but I couldn't.  I pulled away turning my back to her.  She went to touch me again and I just move away.

"I-i don't want to b-be with you."  I say choking on my words. "what did I do?"  She asked desperately, pain laced in her voice.  She pushed and pushed but I would respond.  I couldn't respond. 

It felt like a massive weight was crushing me.  I couldn't breath and Taylor's voice fades out.  I try to just leave the room but she won't let me.

Taylor pushes me against the wall and pins my hands, holding them behind my back.  I freeze, remembering the feeling of being trapped. Unable to move while my father did as he pleased.

My breathing increases an day vision blurs.  I look back at Taylor unable to control my breathing.  Tears roll down my face and I feel my head go light.  My vision goes black.

-

I wake up confused where I am at. I'm looking up at Taylor and she is messing with my hair.  I remember what happened and I sit up, pushing myself away.

She huffs in an annoid way, she leans back crossing her legs and arms. "Sam I'm tired of this shit.  Just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you."  She said glaring at me.

Her words hurt, I look down at my legs.  It hurt when she yelled at me.  I didn't like when she yelled at me.

"Nothings, I-I just don't want to be around you"  I say picking at the couch. I feel tears coming on at the though of losing her.  Such a short time yet she has become the thing that keeps me going.

"What.." she said leaning forward and looking confused.  Her hands are shaking slightly, killing me. I feel tears push over as I try to stay composed.

"I don't want to see you anymore t-taylor"  I say choking and barring my face in my legs.  I could feel my chest tighten as the air grew thick.

"So thats it? You learn one fucking thing from my past and you check out!"  She said raising her voice.  I push myself farther away. "I have been so patient with you Sam! I don't know what you want from me!"  She said standing up.  I look up at her, she's shaking.  Clearly holding back tears.

"You know what"  she said leaning over me, I flinch seemingly only makingher more mad. "Fine, I'm fucking done"  she said standing up and heading for the door.  A quickly turn around wanting to say something but she beats me to it. "Don't bother trying to fucking call."  She said leaving and slamming the door.

I sat there stunned, trying to process what happened.  Did my over thinking just push her away?  I feel my chest get tighter and breathing becomes hard.  I curl up in a ball crying my mind goes blank.  The only thing I'm aware of is that I pissed Taylor off.