The Apple of My Eye: A Collection Of Short Stories

The Damsel-In-Distress

Once upon a time, a long time ago in a distant land there was a team like no other.

"This isn't a fairy tale, Apple! If you're going to be our reporter, then do it right!"

Kyle loomed over Cartman, thumping the top of his head.

"Don't talk to her like that, Cartman!" he insisted.

Cartman brushed off the hit and pointed one of his razor-sharp claws at his rival's face.

"I'm not Cartman, I'm a superhero! I am the leader of this team, and you will respect my authoritah, Human Kite!"

Kyle rolled his eyes, fists clenched, ready for another round when Apple intervened.

"Please don't fight. Remember, we decided to play superheroes in South Park today, no destiny talk. I messed up by saying the 'Once upon a time' bit. Can we just reset?" Apple suggested.

With a shared huff, Cartman and Kyle turned away from each other, arms crossed in silent agreement.

***

"Never mind those two, reporter," a deep voice directed her attention away from Kyle and Cartman. A hand was placed on the princess's shoulder before he spoke again.

"If you excuse us, Miss, we have to patrol the city. Freedom Pals out!" Kenny announced, using his cape to vanish into the woods nearby.

Stan whipped out a measuring tape, cleverly using it as a grappling hook to swing away. Cartman bolted, hopping onto a stranger's car before dashing behind a building. Apple turned to find Kyle, looking somewhat dejected at having to leave her behind.

"I'll be alright, Ky— Oh! I mean, Human Kite," she said with a smile, assuring him of her well-being.

He gently rested a hand on her cheek.

"Remember, if you need anything, just call me."

Clutching the massive kite behind him, Kyle soars into the heavens.

Then there's Apple, an ace reporter assigned to document the heroes' valiant acts. The only problem? When she signed up to join them, she envisioned spending time with the boys, not getting sidelined.

"I went from a princess to a news reporter... how unfairest..." she muttered to herself.

A robin perched on the tips of his fingers, keeping Apple company.

There she was, alone in this quiet little mountain town.

"I mean, what's the worst that can happen, right?" she pondered.

***

"Hey Toolshed..."

The two best friends were on a rooftop, patrolling over the town.

"I know she said she would be alright, but I can't help but feel bad leaving her all alone. She doesn't even know her way around, I'm worried something might happen to her," vented Kyle.

Stan took off his safety googles, wiping the sweat from his brow. "If you're that worried, then text her dude. Just cause Cartman said she can't be with us when we patrol, doesn't mean you can't stay in contact with her."

'I'm an idiot,' Kyle kicked himself.

He swiftly took out his phone and dialed Apple's number. After a few rings, it went directly to voicemail. Kyle's heart started to race.

'Cool it Kyle, maybe she's using the bathroom or something.'

He dials once again letting the phone ring.