horror sto- i mean book about me

dirty things

ok let's start this sucker with some dirty things 

I'm not a very horny or dirty guy, but that can all change now.

before I start all y'all go ahead and ask the dirtiest questions, but be warned I will be answering all of them in the next chapter. And please ask some good questions. Yknow we wanna get some spicy content out of here.

ok lets get this bread-

-what did the toaster say to the slice of bread?? "I want you inside of me"

-"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. ;) naughty what were you thinking

-"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's." please reread that if you didn't understand, I'm crying.

-How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls. don't laugh

-Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil. I'm so sorry you had to read that

-What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.

As I said I'm not a horny guy, so I borrowed these from the internet.

ill try better next chapter!