Wicked Minds and Wicked Hearts

- Chapter 3 -

I'm Holding the Speaking Cactus

Mal

     As part of orientation and back-to-school activities, Mal was required to do a series of icebreaker name games with the residents of his dorm. When Mal was a student at the academy, he had remembered thinking that orientation was the worst thing to ever exist. He still feels the same way. Looking at the list of possible games in front of him made him want to cringe. They were all ridiculous and something you would do with primary school students.

     Mal's first-year resident representative was a twenty-something guy that had the job of cleaning dishes in the kitchen. The game that he had chosen was one where they pick a food item that has the same first letter like the one in their own first name. He made them go around the circle ten times trying to remember each other's names. After that Mal had talked mad shit about his resident representative for the rest of the year. There wasn't anything inherently wrong with the guy, he was just the unfortunate soul that had to try and bond with his residents. Mal realized that this was probably some twisted form of karma, and it was now his turn to be criticized. Skies, help him.

     His residents were all piled into the seating area, some occupying the two grey velvet sofas and others sitting on the rug in front of Mal. He had wheeled his desk chair from his room to in front of the stained-glass window. To an outsider, the scene would have been hilarious. A whole group of grown men all huddled into one spot, staring and waiting for Mal to say something as if he was going to bust out a children's book and read them a story. In truth, if his residents knew that they were about to play some stupid food name game they would have preferred him to read them a children's story.

     Mal checked his watch, a nervous tick that Jennie used to tease him for. She used to say it seemed as if he was always running late for something. He never got out of the habit. Leo appeared through the dormitory entrance. He took a seat on the rug to Mal's left. It was now time to start the festivities.

     Mal cleared his throat and tried to sit up taller. "Right, um, thank you all for attending this little gathering."

     A blue-haired boy that Mal recognized as Troy Nelson cut in, "We're required to be here."

     Mal frowned, "Thank you for reminding me, Troy. Anyways, this paper says I'm supposed to introduce myself, so I'll start with that. I'm Mal Tyvern. I'm twenty-four and I actually graduated from this same academy two years ago. I am trained as a Swordsmen class and will also be the assistant teacher for Raphael Monte, so I'm sure I'll see some of you during your training sessions. Um, I think that's about it for me. Are there any questions?" He prayed to the skies that nobody was going to ask him a question.

     "I have one." It was Troy again. Mal prepared himself for the bullshit that was going to come out of this kid's face. He could just tell that Troy was the troublemaking type. Troy grinned slightly, "Is it normal for resident representatives to make their residents sit in a little circle like we're about to start singing like a bunch of girl scouts?"

     Mal's frown returned, "I don't know what the other resident representatives have planned, but we're required to follow a certain set of instructions and if they require you to sit in a circle then suck it up. Also, boy scouts sit in circles and sing just like girl scouts so drop the stereotyping and misogyny, okay? Any other pointless questions?" Mal knew he was a little harsh with Troy, but he really didn't want this kid to become a bigger problem than he was already proving to be.

     Mal cleared his throat again, "Alright, we are now going to go around the circle and do introductions. Feel free to share as little or as much as you want but do keep it to a minimum of five facts." Leo raised his hand. "You—you don't have to raise your—never mind. Yes, Leo?"