The Champagne Lovers

Thirteen

"For fuck sake Lizzie would you just text him already, and stop sitting there gormlessly staring at the screen" Gracie teased from the other side of the kitchen where she was boiling a kettle placing teabags into two giant mugs

"firstly I'm not staring gormlessly, I'm carefully considering my words and secondly shut your face and hurry up with my Tea" I giggled at my sister

Gracie eventually walked across the kitchen joining me at the table, placing a steaming cup of hot tea in front of me. We'd spent the majority of the last few days discussing everything that had happened since I'd married Jack, our separation, deciding to go back on tour and all that had happened since then, topping up the wine in our systems after that first day in the pub, but I needed a break, I was heading back to tour in 2 days and I really needed to get everything with Niall and with Harry resolved in my mind and woth them before we headed back.

As soon as Gracie sat opposite me at the small table in her kitchen, I wrapped my hands around the mug, my palms hidden under the long sleeves of the oversized black hoodie I had thrown on. I'd acquired it one night after a show, while exploring with Harry and the night chill had seeped through my light jacket.

Of course being the gentleman he is, the first hint of a shiver from me and he was removing his sweater, handing it to me insisting that I wear it, and I'd just never given it back.

It doesn't smell like him anymore having been washed too many times, the lingering sent of vanilla and mint all but gone but I still enjoyed the feel of the soft fabric as I snuggled down into its cosy and comforting warmth.

It was barely 7pm and the sky over London had already darkened, the season changing drastically in the week since I'd arrived home. The nights were drawing in, and autumn had fully taken hold, the leaves were now flooding the streets with the warm beautiful tones of maroon, and ochre as the wind whistled through the branches dislodging them causing them to float to the floor between the stone and brick buildings.

I'd loved living in New York, fall in New York was spectacular with the anticipation of the holiday season approaching, and getting to travel and see the world as part of my job was phenomenal, but there was nothing quite like coming back to London there was no city like it in the world, at least not that I'd found yet.

Plus London had Grace and that made it pretty much the best place on earth.

"In all seriousness Lizzie, are you sure? are you sure this is what you want? it's ok if you aren't sure still or didn't want any of it you know, fuck it, maybe you need to take a little more time for yourself, finish tour and figure it all out when its all over, that's ok too"

I thought about what Gracie said and I knew she was right, it wouldn't be unreasonable for me to need more time. What he last show proved to me and what I had only just started to deal with is the fact that I never allowed myself any time to truly mourn the end of my marriage and the broken heart that was left in its wake.

Regardless of what our relationship had become it hadn't always been like that and I feel like I had been so focussed on lawyers and VISAs and then moving across the world to then pick up and move again with the tour, I'd done nothing but distract myself.

Distracting myself with the tour, distracting myself with Niall and even to a certain degree with Harry. It all meant that I didn't have to stop, didn't allow myself to stop, and really think about what had happened until I was literally face to face with it, with him.

And it hit me like a bus.

If I had been hit by an actual bus I would have had multiple injuries that would need time to heal and care, the emotional bus that hit me on the second stage in Madison Square Garden, the very room that we'd met was no different and would equally need time to truly heel. The initial wounds would fade quickly but it would need time to really truly heal though to my cohesively, the simple act of acknowledging this fact had indeed proven to be a massive step in the right direction, the weight instantly lifting from me and with Gracie's help I already felt so much better about everything, my whole life with Jack and everything that had happened since allowing me to really consider how I really felt now and how I felt about Niall and Harry.