A Kingdom of Our Own

Chapter Thirty One - Defiance

He may very well have disliked Mason intently, but Harry couldn’t help but shake the feeling that he had been right about what he’d said earlier. Maybe he was a bad influence on Hannah, and being involved with her would lead to trouble if her family found out. And that’s what really mattered in his eyes. He knew more than anyone how precious a loving family is and he certainly didn’t want to risk her losing that. If she lost her family, he would never be able to forgive himself.

                                                  *

Harry stood in the cold, dark shadows around the back of Jacob’s house. Although he needed to speak with Hannah urgently and preferred to do so sooner rather than later, he’d taken particular care in not setting out until night had fallen to reduce the risk of getting caught. If he got caught here, then things would only get a heck of a lot worse, so bad in fact he may end up losing his newfound home.

Harry bent down, picked up a stone from the garden and threw it at Hannah’s bedroom window, making a loud ‘clink’. A moment later the curtains parted and Hannah peered out the window at him, a little surprised by his presence. Without thinking, he cupped his hands around his mouth and went to yell at her. Hannah however had more sense and put a finger to her lips and motioned for him to wait there. The curtains pulled to again and he was alone once more.

Harry stood there shivering, with a bitter September wind cutting through him like a knife. Bitter nights like these could only be well spent sitting in front of a roaring fire, which Skandar probably had lit right now. A moment later, Hannah emerged from the house and signalled for him to come and sit on the front porch.

“What are you doing here? You could get into trouble.” Hannah whispered, as he took a seat beside her on the damp wooden surface of the decking.

“I needed to talk to you,” Harry explained, rubbing his hands together as the numbness began to set in. “I’ve been thinking about something.”

“About what?”

Harry’s stomach knotted. What he had to say had seemed all too simple until the time actually came for him to tell her. The temptation to back out here and now was overwhelming, tormenting his very soul. Nevertheless, he remained strong and stayed true to his original decision.

“From the moment I met you, not one day has gone by where I haven’t thought about you. Whenever we’re apart, I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you… I-I can’t breathe. At first I thought this was a good thing, a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ve come to fear that I was mistaken. I’m a bad influence Hannah and if I don’t back away from you now, I could end up ruining your life.”

Hannah took hold of Harry’s hand tightly, which was ice cold to the touch. She looked at him as she did so with the same great fondness she always did, unable to accept that there was any truth or rationality in what he was saying. At the end of the day she didn’t fully understand what the consequences of her actions could be. Unlike Harry, she had not been put through the ordeal of being born into a world without a caring family to look out for her and keep her safe.

“Anything is possible Harry, just listen to me…” she pressed, although Harry wasn’t having any of it.

“No!” he cried. “I won’t let you give up your future for me, to put everything that’s valuable to you on the line. The only way I can come close to suppressing my feelings for you is to stay out of your life.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way. We could keep it a secret.” Hannah pleaded, looking deeply into Harry’s blue eyes. She placed a hand lightly on his leg, trying to lull him into conformity. Harry certainly was tempted by the idea. He craved danger, but he drew the line where his risk-taking could lead to other people getting hurt, those he cared for especially.

“Being with you is the one thing that makes me happy in life, which is why it’s been so hard for me to make this decision. We’d be living a lie, one that we couldn’t keep even if we wanted to. Day in, day out, I’d be worried that someone would find out about us. I couldn’t do that. Could you Hannah?”

Hannah squeezed Harry’s hand and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “If you were a bad influence to me, then why would you put my needs before your own feelings? I know the risks of getting caught are heavy, but I also know that without you by my side, life here would be unbearable and boring…”

From the kitchen window, Mason peered through the steamed-up glass, watching them talk to one and other. A sudden burst of anger and renewed hate for the boy sitting beside his sister fell over him, but also a slight sense of satisfaction. Now that he actually had proof to back up his claims, he could take his first pace against Harry.

                                                  *

Hannah found herself sitting out on the decking for a considerable amount of time after Harry had left, thinking about the conversation they’d had. Her brain had told her to sympathise with Harry’s worries, but the overwhelming feelings of her heart had overridden any chance of rationality contributing to her ultimate decision on the matter.

From behind, the front door to the house clicked open and Jacob stepped out into the cold. Still she sat there silently, legs crossed, very much occupied by her thoughts and it wasn’t until he lay a hand on her shoulder that she realised he was there. She turned around to look up at her father and just from observing the grave expression on his face; she knew something bad had happened.

He took a seat beside her slowly and without looking at her, as if he were somewhat ashamed, he whispered coldly, “Mason tells me you have been talking with the English boy again.”

“So what if I have?” Hannah bit back defensively, not wanting to seem guilty, but at the same time failing to state whether or not there was any truth in what Mason had told him. No good would come out of denying the allegations. Lying would only make things worse for herself and quite frankly, she was tired of hiding the truth from everyone anyway. It was no easy task pretending to be someone you weren’t.

“I’m concerned you’re becoming too attached to this English boy Hannah, he’s bad news. Is this really in line with the Ordnung?”

“I have done nothing against the rule of the Ordnung. I have committed no sin.” Hannah said firmly. In truth, she really did believe she had done nothing wrong and that it was her father and the rest of the community who were overreacting and taking a few basic assumptions out of context.

“Maybe,” Jacob agreed. “Maybe not yet. But Hannah, it does not look good. If events continue to progress in this direction, there may be talk of having you shunned.”

“That’s idle talk, they couldn’t shun me on such grounds,” Hannah said dismissively, turning away from her father and taking a pace towards the front door. Jacob reached out with a feeble hand and gripped her arm, twisting her around to face him.

They met one and other with equally wild glares.

“Don’t take this lightly Hannah!” he rasped. “They can do it, and they will, just like that. If you’re going to continue causing trouble, then I cannot live under the same roof as you and I cannot go to worship with you. Child, do not go so far astray.” As he spoke, he gradually became less commanding and authoritive in his tone, with the final words being uttered rather pleadingly. Hannah, rather than being sympathetic, was quick to pick up on his wavering strength and so bit back defiantly:

“I’m no child anymore; I can make my own decisions. I don’t need you or anyone to tell me what I can and can’t do!”

“Well you’re certainly acting like one!” Jacob scowled. “Acting in such a careless manner, without even considering the consequences, not only on yourself but on your family! Do you wish to bring shame upon your kin? Is that what you want?”

Never in her life could she say she had been more ashamed of a human being – and her father of all people. Hannah looked over her father with a cold, steely gaze and then whispered, “You shame yourself.” She pulled her arm free of the grip of his hand and strode into the house, allowing the door to shut behind her with a loud clang.