bucket list//dnf

chapter 2 - some lavender and a list

"nick! nick, nick nick, nick," george said. nick sighed through the phone speaker.

"what, dipshit?" nick replied. george grinned at his phone.

"the lavender is growing," he chirped. nick audibly gasped. george heard shifting from nick's end.

"please, please, please, let me come over. i want to see it, c'mon-" george cut nick off by laughing.

"of course you can come over, dumbass. make it quick though, my sister is home with her boyfriend." george said. nick hissed a "yes" and hung up. george chuckled before rolling out of his bed to await the arrival of nick.

george opened his eyes. his cheek was pressed against the warm car window. a single tear rolled silently down his cheek, but that was it. sunlight was bounding through the glass and landing squarely on his upper arm, which was making him uncomfortable. he moved his body so the sun hit his stomach instead.

george peeled his face off the window and turned to look at his mother. she was driving, since george didn't have his license yet. her brown hair fell in waves and cascaded down to her shoulders, framing her pale and sharp face. george carded a hand through his hair. there were a few stop signs in between nick and george's house, as they lived on nearly opposite sides of the small neighborhood, and george's mom had to stop to let two cars go. a silver toyota 4runner and a red truck george didn't recognize. but she didn't resume driving after they were out of sight. instead, she glaced at him. "everything okay, george?" she asked. 

"no, but it'll never be okay. just okay-er, if that makes sense." he sighed and looked back out the window. george's mom had started moving the car again.  the rock-freckled asphalt of the road blurred into one shade of grey as the car moved along.

mrs. davidson nodded even though she knew george couldn't see her. "if you want, we could pick up some flowers or something before visiting him."

george turned back to look at his mom. she wasn't looking at him anymore, but rather the empty road. "lavender?"

"of course," she responded. george grinned softly. lavender was always nick's favorite. weirdly enough, george was the only one to ever bring lavender when he visited. george didn't know if nick never told people or they didn't care, but he truly hoped it wasn't the latter. nick deserved people who cared.

really, nick deserved a lot. he deserved better friends. he deserved all the people in the world to care. he deserved a long life with loving people surrounding him.

he did not deserve to die at 17.

george sighed. today had been full of sighs. the first day of his misery was full of heartbroken sobbing. this day was full of sad, wistful sighs.

the entrance to nick's col-de-sac came into view. george's mouth went dry. his chest constricted. this place had once been his home-away-from-home, a place he could barge into and be greeted by his best friend and good snacks his parents would never allow to come within thirty feet of their house. but now it almost as unfamiliar as the other houses surrounding it. it had been a long time since he'd visited.

he hadn't visited since nick died.

george's mom pulled up to the driveway. the cracked, uneven, tan-colored concrete made the car bounce and jiggle as she did so. mrs. davidson parked the car and turned it off. the quiet rumbling of the engine stopped. neither george nor her moved. the car was silent for a couple minutes before george's mom spoke.

"i know this is going to be hard for you." she paused. george turned and looked at his reflection on the side mirror. he was as pale as a sheet of paper, his brown hair was a mess, and he altogether looked like he had crawled out of a forest. he turned away from his reflection and looked straight ahead instead. "but just know that all things happen for a reason."