Always [N.H]

Letting you go

Niall didn't find out about Arden's illness until a year into their relationship, of course he had noticed her oddities, the strangeness of her behaviour and how suddenly her mood could change but by then, it wasn't as bad as it would soon become so Arden was able to hide under the guise of PMS or other such factors. 

The period around their one year anniversary was hard one, especially for Arden, she was battling another low, a new kind of low, one that not only included her being depressed every moment of the day, she also felt clingy towards Niall, constantly yearning for his touch and affection, wanting his approval. She followed him whenever she could, when not crying or sleeping constantly calling or texting him. She wasn't able to work, not with the episode she was going through, so her therapist managed to arrange a paid leave of absence, the perks of living in Europe. 

Niall had noticed Arden's glum mood and sudden clinginess and just figured she was undergoing depression, which to him explained why she was able to stay home without losing her job. He was there for her, even without knowing the extremities of her condition, he was there. He bathed her when the pain was too much and she felt like she couldn't move, he made her food, tea, coffee, watched her favourite films with her, he did anything that would make her feel even remotely better, missing out on important auditions and gigs that Arden would only find out about when it was too late. 

Needless to say, it didn't help, but Niall thought it did. One particular morning, Arden was feeling better, not great, but better, she got up and made breakfast, thanking Niall for putting up with her. It was something she did often and still did now, and Niall would never understand it because he wasn't 'putting up' with her, he was in love with her, all of her. 

Niall was ecstatic, not only because she was in a better mood but also he was performing tonight and after enduring weeks of her absence, Arden would be there. She didn't think it was a good idea, going to see him at the bar, because although she was finally coming up for air after weeks of drowning, she could still feel that pull, her mind inches away from pulling her under again and she didn't want to be in a crowd of half-drunks when it happened. Although antsy and slightly agitated, she was able to get through Niall's performance with a smile on her face as she cheered him on. The problem came afterwards.

She had been waiting outside, arms wrapped around herself as she waited for Niall who said he'd be out in a few minutes, well, those few minutes passed and she wondered what was taking him so long so with a sigh she headed back inside. 

She shouldn't have gotten upset, she knew it wasn't a big deal or a reason to be angry but her mind was in control again and she could feel herself drowning. Niall was a few meters  ahead of her, signing some blonde's chest. He looked extremely uncomfortable, and was even obviously trying to get away from her, Arden saw this but her mind in was too much of a state of chaos to be thinking rationally, not that she even had the capability to think as such. 

She was filled with a blinding rage, an anger so strong, she didn't even know her body was moving until was too late. With quick and angry strides, she marched towards them, grabbing the girl by the hair and pulling her backwards away from Niall. She proceeded to slap the girl fiercely, a red mark left on her cheek. The girl shrieked and roughly pushed Arden away, holding her cheek as she ran away crying. Silence, everyone who had previously been chatting, drinking dancing, stood silently, watching her in shock, judging her. Arden felt her breathing increasing, the walls of the room close in and it only got worse when caught Niall's gaze. He was shocked, hurt, angry, upset and she couldn't take it out so she ran out the bar, she ran out in whatever direction, feet moving quicker than her mind could think and it only stopped when someone grabbed her arm and yanked her back, her smaller body hitting his chest.