𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑷𝒐𝒆𝒕 • Neil Perry & Todd Anderson

ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴀ ғᴇᴍᴍᴇ ғᴀᴛᴀʟᴇ

    "I think i'm going to ask Neil out."

    Marie was bent over her cluttered vanity when she blurted her confession. Todd, who was staring out her bedroom window, gave a start of confusion.

   "What?" By now, the girl had plucked a case of her signature lipstick. She applied the blood red shade to her lips through her mirror. True color of a Femme Fatale, Todd noted. He only ever read about those. She even had kiss marks decorating every corner on the glass.

    "I am going to ask Neil if he wants to be my boyfriend." It was more of a question than a statement. By now, she had encased her lipstick to stare at her friend through her mirror expectantly. His eyes never left the window but she could see something stir in him.

    Marie never knew what went on in Todd's mind most of the time. He was reserved, wide eyed and stumbled over his words when he did speak. Her brother was the same way. That's what made her worry so much about the boy before her.

    "Todd?" She wanted him to look up at her. He only mumbled a slight "mhm?" Something in the atmosphere of the room shifted like an enigma. "What's on your mind?" She walked over to the ledge and sat across him. His chest rose unevenly with breath. His hair slightly disheveled in some places.

   "Just homesick." Partly true.

    "And?" Marie walked over to her vanity in search of something. He chewed on his lip and contemplated, this time dissecting her every move.

    "Don't know." He shrugged off the notation of something else that plagued him. Marie was unlike anyone he ever met. Neil was the same, they would be perfect together. Yes, of course they would. "You and Neil would make a great," Marie began to softly rake through Todd's hair with a comb, "couple." He relaxed with every light stroke the girl casted through his hair.

    "I won't try anything if you don't want me to, Todd. I know how close you two are." She breathed.

     "Don't try anything," his mind didn't hesitate to say it but his mouth remained in a tight smile. "Go ahead." He cursed inwardly. Maybe she can hear his thoughts? Of course she can't. Maybe he'll say no? Of course he won't. He didn't have the right to object anyway.

     "Do you think he'll say yes? Or do you think i'll be a laughing stock?"  She chuckled despite her self deprecation. Todd didn't laugh nor did he even laugh in his mind space.

    "He's not going to say no." He let his head fall against her abdomen, suddenly drained. She didn't pull away but ran her hand along his scalp. It reminded him of his mother. That made his insides curdle.

     It was not that he regretted running away. It definitely was not regret but it was guilt. This was the furthest he had been from New England and his parents. Unlike Neil, they were not the reason he ran away. Todd just wanted to see the world, and he didn't want to leave Neil. Not again.

     Perhaps that was his mistake.

    "Is there more to life than this?" he whispered into her shirt, hoping she couldn't hear him.

    "Than what?" Her voice became heavier. She pinched Todd's chin and directed his face upward, facing his eyes that seem irritated. They were glossy and red veins poked from his eyelids. He reverted his gaze downward.

     "Longing."

      "Longing? Todd I won't ask if that is what you want."

       He pushed himself away from her. "That's not what I mean. There's got to be more to life than this!" He was surprised by the sound of his voice but continued, "I am always the follower. Everyday at breakfast I watch whatever is going on between you two and I am just a bystander. I watch as everyone lives their own life but why does it feel like I am the only one without one? It-It's like i'm outside and watching myself be," He fell on the bed behind him in a fit of coughs. His head felt heavier than usual and his stomach seemed to liquify in him.