More Then One

Chapter 1

Word count: 3384
TW: Rape/Sexual Assault/Triggers

To be frankly honest, I'm a little nervous to tell my professor the news. I don't know what he is like when he is confronted or being told these things, so I'm just a little nervous. But I'm pretty sure it is nothing that I can't handle myself. Due to my mother, I'm pretty sure that an English professor is capable of having low expectations.    
    I walked into his classroom, and of course, he watches me walk to my seat, the same spot as last class, and as usual, I come in when the class is full just in case he does creepy shit when people are gathering in. When he would ask me why I would come in late, I would always use the same excuse, "I stay in late so I can exchange notes with other students because the professor talks too fast and he never stops in time for students to take notes." And the professor believes it as so. I don't think he knows the fact that I just waist my time in the bathroom and walked in last minute. If he did know, I'm pretty sure he would act up, but I've been doing it since freshman year, and from time to time changing the lie.
      Well, the bell rings. I sit in my seat, twiddling my pencil as I watch a few girls watch me, a few guys judge me, questioning if I'm a poor kid or a rich kid, probably because I'm wearing the nastiest converse ever while having a black alligator leather backpack my Auntie gave me for my 18th birthday. I don't really understand the concept of  why people like me, as well. People stare a lot, and it's weird sometimes. Normally when people check other people out, looking at them from head to toe, it would give them a confidence boost and be kind of like "everyone is staring at me I must be so cool" and start being confident in themselves. But for me, it just infuriates me. It kind of proves that they don't care about me as a person, really. They just think that I have a pretty face so I must have a personality of a fucking angel. I hate that shit. You don't know me, so don't come up to me thinking you do. A lot of people don't give a fuck who you are as a person, it's always about the good sex.
       I mean I've been there, sex is good, which is why I'm fucking my teacher, but I can change that shit if I wanted to, the thing is, everyone here lost their virginity one point or the other and honestly, half of the school might have aids. So yes, I'm only fucking my teacher because I got trust issues of where people put their dick in. I'm kind of surprised this school doesn't have sex education due to how much sex goes around this school.
      And so, the school bell rings, everyone sits down, and the school time continues.
      "Good morning class, I am Professor Wallace, your Senior English teacher, and let's hope you are in the class you are supposed to be in." He says, looking down at his roll call and calling out students, calls everyone, skips me as usual because I've been his student all throughout here. And then starts his lesson.
       He talks and continuously writes down notes on the board, we write down what he says and copies his handwriting either on the computer or in handwriting, whatever preference, and the boys behind me continuously stare as I minded my business. I can't tell if they want to beat me to death because the girls keep on staring at me as well, or they are eyeing my pants to fuck me. It's kind of irritating due to the fact I can't tell the difference and it's probably gonna bother me all class, but we will figure it out soon.
       Anyways, the class was almost over and the teacher was packing things away along with everyone else getting ready. "Alrighty, everyone I have an announcement to make before you guys leave. To those who are going to Japan for half a semester, I would like to see you after class to talk about what will happen when you are gone. I will write down an email to your next professor in case you are late for class.
Well fuck, looks like I don't have to let him know.
       The bell rings, everyone leaves, and the guys that were eyeing me kept their eyes on me as they passed by me.
      Oh...?
      One of them had a little smirk that said it all, he looks like he advertises motorbikes for a living, with having black hair and the leather jacket and the black ripped jeans, and not to mention the tattoo on the side of his neck. A perfect example of what he looks like is an early 2000's biker jock. Kind of hot...
      Everyone leaves the class and the door closes. As usual, Mr. Wallace locks us in so no one can come in and since the door doesn't have a window, no one sees.
      All my stuff gets packed up and walks up to his desk. He gives me a little smirk as usual and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in. "Liam Crow, you are such a beautiful little being, it would be a shame if you would leave me like this," he says, whispering, and I couldn't help but be a little uncomfortable, which isn't normally the case, but this feels wrong all of a sudden, like something bad is gonna happen. "Were you gonna tell me you were leaving me? Or were you gonna leave and never come back, leaving me stranded?"
      Oh, yes this is starting to get me a little scared, he is definitely going to do something.
    "I was gonna tell you after class," I say, trying to push him away from me but he doesn't budge. "And it's only a semester, I'm gonna come back anyway. Just go find another male student to fuck with,"
    "No, I only want you, and only you. You are the only one to so satisfy me and no one else. You are the only one for me." His voice gets more and more aggressive and his grip gets tighter, making it a little hard for me to breathe. "You know I love you so why are you doing this? Why are you leaving me? It's not like I wanted to marry my wife. I'm going to divorce her so I can be with you, run away with you, forever."
    No no no no no.
    I finally push him away, completely freaking out at this point. This fucking dude is crazy.
    "Wallace, you don't even fucking know me. We only had sex, and you divorced your wife to be with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?? You don't have a reason to love me in the first place besides how great the sex is!"
    "That's not true!!" He screams out loud and I freak out, I mean there might be students listening outside.
    "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yell as well, and I sigh, choosing to play the same games too if he wants to do this to expose me, if that's the case, if he is screaming to expose me, then I will do the same. "Just to let you know, wasn't it you that jumped on me? Wasn't you that was sexually assaulting me? Wasn't you that was constantly asking for sex when you clearly had a wife? Wasn't it you that was raping those kids five years ago before I came into your life?!" And let me tell you I screamed it at the top of my lungs.
    He then freaked out, and without a second thought, slapped me in the face, my cheek and mouth hurting and I fell to the floor, knocking my head and I hear someone breaking down the door, hitting the wall and possibly breaking something due to the fact I heard glass fall on the floor.
    I think when he slapped me, it triggered my anger issues. Merely because a few seconds of blacking out for a bit, I woke up and without thinking, I grabbed my pencil and I almost stabbed him. Someone was pulling me back, I couldn't tell who was though. I was too numb and light-headed to look behind me and I was eyeing Wallace trying my best to reach him so I can kill him, but it was merely self-defense.
    The person that pulled me back dragged me out of the room, and the professor was held back by a bunch of other students. Security came and a few police around the area came after 10 minutes cuffing him and taking him out of the school, and everyone watched as I was numb on the floor, shaking and crying after my PTSD was triggered.
    This isn't the first time I got triggered. It happened many times before and each time it happened, I don't think people understand what it means to be triggered, and don't know how to handle it. When someone is triggered and you know they are having an emotional, mental breakdown, shaking and crying, sobbing their eyes out, being numb, heart aching, your esophagus and lungs feel heavy, body's weak on the floor, light-headed from trying to breathe, eyes blurry from crying but burning at the same time, and wanting to scream but you can't because it's hard to breathe, and even if you do know what to scream out, you couldn't do that even if you tried because the voices in your head are louder than what is coming out of your mouth, besides blood dripping down besides the blood dripping down your lips. If you know someone is going through this, you don't continue what you are doing. You stop and try to calm them down or try to make them stop, or you can run away if you don't want to deal with it.
    A lot of harassers and bullies in general, well, they never care about the human mind, they only care about themselves and what happens around them and they use bullying as a coping mechanism for their own problems because they don't know how to handle it themselves. I mean it's normal when you don't know what to do with your negative emotions, you do something about it. Some people handle it differently, some worse than others. Some people abuse, some people talk about it, some people kill, go to therapy, a lot of things happen, but most of the time, when it has to deal with someone else, you can't do anything about it, and even if you can it is never your responsibility to handle someone else's problems that aren't your own unless they are your child then yes, it is your responsibility because you have to take care of them and make sure they won't break anything and treat the world kindly as is, or they will turn into a dark-minded, suicidal, crazy sociopath or psychopath that does things upon their own anger and pleasure because they don't know what else to do with it.
    That's just the way it is.
    And these students, well, they did exactly that.
    They were horrible at handling the situation I was in, forcing me to stand up, talking to me when I couldn't even hear them, they were screaming at me, surrounding me, and it was getting more and more suffocating because don't forget, there are the voices in my head along with the voices around me, combine that both and you got a situation worse than it should be. And let me tell you this went on for a long time... a very long long time. I think it lasted most of the school day of people babying me and surrounding me, like Jesus fucking Christ did you fail your psychology class?
    Or it was probably because I wasn't on that side of the campus. I mean I was in English class, the closest class where Psyche kids are around is a ten-minute walk, and yes this is a big campus. I mean it's a Private University, what do you expect? But it isn't as big as Stanford that's for sure. I mean for fuck sake Stanford is its own fucking town. But this is a big campus, but comfortable. As long as you have a bike, you should be fine.
    At least the school let me go home early. Lucky me. I just had to email my teachers and ask for the homework. It's honestly really nice to come home early from time to time, only because I get to eat with mom and hang out with her.
    She is a nice woman, honestly. When she would host her body, and every time I talked to her, she was always so warm, carrying, heartwarming, sweet, a good mother. As I grew up, and I taught myself the difference between the personalities, it was easier to cope, easier to handle, compared to when I was younger and they all were just one person to me, and them being completely different, saying that it wasn't my mother sounded like I was in denial, but in all honesty, I'm happy I finally get to help her, I'm happy that I'm able to see her for who she truly is and why these things are happening. I'm more than happy to help, and I just want my mom to live happily without the fear of hurting someone on accident because she switched.
    So, I got home, still feeling like shit, entering the house hoping that my mother doesn't have her violent alter showing up, and the nurse greets me at the door.
"Liam," she says, giving me her bright smile, which I take to heart because she is my only mother figure. "Good thing you're here, your mother was worried sick about you when she got your text... you are rarely home this early." Which is true. I tend to stay up late at school studying. "But... honestly you could've lied saying that it was your first day and they let you out early..."
    I like how she sticks out for me, I don't know why though, "Sara, thanks for that, but I don't want to lie to my mother over something like this... this is serious and she will figure it out sooner or later."
Sara sighs, looking like she was a little bit happy to hear that. "Well, it's good to know you are such an honest kid. Now go see your mother, I'm cooking up lunch for us."
    I nod, walking upstairs towards my mother's room, opening the door. "Hey, mom," I say, getting her attention quite quickly. "I'm home early.."
She's normally quite happy that she gets to see me quite early, but she's happier than normal. "Liam, you need a haircut." She says, walking up to me and touching my hair, "It's getting a little too long, and so curly like your father." She coos, petting my hair and giving off a smile. "Sit down, I'll get the scissors," she leaves the room.
    I think I get what's going on, she's giving me a sweet treatment because she knows what's wrong. I mean, I'm pretty sure she blames herself all the time for what happened to me when I was young, but it wasn't really her fault. I wonder if I explain it all to her she might understand, but as usual, there are some alters that want to see her suffer, and me talking about it always triggers a switch to someone. It truly sucks, which is why I never told my mom which university I'm in and what I'm studying. I just told her I'm going to a tech university to study animation and graphic design.
    Oh right, I have to tell her I'm going to Japan, which I don't think she is going to take lightly.
    She comes back with scissors, and she catches me thinking a little too deep and she immediately catches on, as usual.
    "What's wrong, hun?" She says, taking out her chair, grabbing my arm, and sitting me down. "I'm guessing there is more to what happened today than what the tales say..."
    Mom would be a good poet.
    "Y-yeah, I'm going to Japan for a semester..." It's weird how your voice gets quiet when you're nervous. "I'm leaving next Monday, and my teachers already prepared me for a project to recover whatever time I miss when I'm gone."
She was combing my hair while I was talking but paused when I mentioned the last part of the news. I gulped a little bit since I didn't want her to transition.
    Maybe I should've told her later...    
    "Well," she began, continuing with combing my hair, "At least you're adventuring the world." She says, and I can feel her warm smile. "You were never really the outgoing kind of kid, you never really liked having friends ever since you were bullied because you looked different, which is the stupidest thing!"
    Honestly, I don't think I look all that different from people. I have black curly hair and blue eyes, circle glasses, always wearing black skinny jeans and any kind of sweater I can find. That's not much of a different kind unless it was just the fact I looked kind of goth with naturally black hair and blue eyes. I think I would actually stand out a lot in an area full of blond kids.
    "Y-yeah, it was really dumb," I give off a little chuckle, trying not to bring down the mood a little too much.
    "But back to the topic, you are going to Japan! I'm so excited for you!" She says, "But.. why are you going?"
Oh crap. "There was an animator there who saw my work, and he wanted to affiliate with me and work with me, and in return for me working there, I get to have time off at school and study over there for the semester and study his work, and possibly make a work with him..."
    "Oh...?"
What does she mean by 'oh'? Goddamn, she is scary...
    "Who is this guy?"
    "His name is Jung Hyungmin or something like that. I don't know him, he's probably not a very well known animator, but my school is making me do this, it might be worth something,"
    My mom hums a little bit and gives off a little sigh, "Alrighty then, you do what you think is best for yourself. Don't let me stop you," she says, giving off a little giggle. "Besides, this will be good for you, a break from me-"
    "No," I say, turning towards her, the comb pulling on my hair but I ignore that pain, "never think like that mom," I say, not meaning to come out as angry since she had a surprised expression on her face before giving off a very... sad yet happy smile.
    "Thank you... but it really doesn't mean much hun,"
    "Huh? What does-"
    "You really need to focus on yourself, and take care of yourself," she says before turning my head forward and she started cutting my hair.
    I sigh softly. I know she's sad that I had to leave, I know it. She means a lot to me along with me meaning a lot to her. And I know deep down she is begging for forgiveness over the things she has done to me, whether it's intentional or not, I know she is begging for forgiveness. Even if I did forgive her, she can never forgive herself, and that's why she always wants me near her as much as possible, even though that is really hard to do.
        When I graduate, I will take care of her, always be with her, and make her happy. That's all I want. And then I can tell her everything of what happened when I was gone, subtracting the fact I was fucking my teacher.