Cocaine makes you boring (wilbur x e-girl)

internet has ruined me

TRIGGER WARNINGS:obsessive behaviour,swearing, death threat,

Wilbur's pov~

I sat hunched over at my desk staring into my pc watching her stream in awe. My dono read aloud

'Wilbur Soot donated £100: your beauty, your grace'

'Holy shit, wilbur thankyou so so much for the 100, I really appreciate it'

I continued watching, my eyes dry and bloodshot from staring at the bright screen and the RGB lights shining from my keyboard amplifying the few specs of blood scattered on it .

Annoyed that she hadn't said anything to me and didn't respond to my complement i opened twitter to a piercing white screen
'Ugh why is it not on dark mode' i thought as i changed it from the disgustingly white screen to the dim black one, that reminded me of my soul. I started scrolling...

'OMG CANCELL *insert creator* HE LIKED A RACIST TWEET FROM 5 YEARS AGO'
'It is disgraceful that people expect us to teach them everything, like EDUCATE YOURSELVES'
'The *insert creator* video is so fake yet they're making millions of it and there's starving people in the world'
'Everyone please for give her, she apologised and is clearly very upset(he is literally crying in the video) ILY *insert creator*'
'YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT, JUST KYS ALREADY'
'Guys i'm taking a break from twitter, but i'll still be streaming!! See you tomorrow'
It kept going for ever, cancel after cancel, threat after threat and stan after stan.

I looked up from my phone, head throbbing from the absolute bull shit from twitter and saw that she was ending stream...
'No, she can't!' i shouted aloud, if she ended stream there would be nothing to do for the rest of the night and i'd be lonely.

She ended.

For the rest of the night i sat staring at her offline discord profile picture, it was gorgeous.
'meant to attract sponsors probably' i thought.
I DM'd her saying:

'Hey I'm Wilbur( i donated £100 to your stream) I just wanted to say i think your really cool and was wondering if you wanted to call or play Minecraft sometime :)'

Sent.

I stayed up the rest of the night staring at that little grey dot next to her username hoping that it would turn green... it did.

I shot up from my tired position in bed as she started typing and typing and typing... until it turned grey. The dot turned grey. She didn't reply but sat typing for almost 20 minutes.

I took a final sip of my RedBull and put it on my floor alongside to my phone and i began to mumble to myself

'Why doesn't she care?
I know she wants 6'4 but i'm one foot more.
She doesn't deserve my mental baggage.
I'm a threat to myself.
I sighed ...God, the internet has ruined me'
...
'the internet...has ruined... me'