Dumbledore x reader

Baby.......?

Dumbledore tackled Y/N and Y/N screamed like a banshee before frolicking away. Dumbledore does a little jig and makes the ring flout off of Y/N's hand and floats it onto Dumbledore's sausage like wrinkly but now buff finger (like picture in last chapter) After Dumbledore has a spicy night (like black pepper) with Lucius, Dumbledore vomits all over his new adopted child. He noticed her dead corpse was rotting. He shrugs it off and then goes to the store. The store had a pregnancy aisle and it said "throwing up only in the morning and cramps? Take a pregnancy test!" Dumbledore gets a little nervous then goes to buy one. The cashier is concerned and she says "y'know you're too old to have a baby RIGHT? Also you're a dude you weirdo." Dumbledore nods and pays then runs home in excitement. He took it and...there were two red lines! (Wow) Dumbledore calls Lucius like a dying rat and Lucius runs over his daughters rotten corpse and arrives in the bathroom where dumbledore whom be there. Dumbledore squeals and shows Lucius the test Lucius freezes in shocked. Lucius starts getting red from anger...Dumbledore thinks he's blushing because he made Dumbledore pregantet but he was really mad Lucius runs away and bumps into you. You look at him as he starts to sob. You ask "what's wrong?" He says "I made a mistake" you hug him and he hugs back. Draco comes back with two ice creams in his hands. (One for you and one for him) he takes you two hugging the wrong way and he grabs hermione, who was also hanging out with you two and kisses her. You turn your head back to the sound of kissing and you gasp and start to tear up. Draco looks at you smirking like he got revenge and you run off mad and heart broken. It's a few months later and you have become friends with Hermione. She helps you raise your child because Draco cheated and you tried to murder him so you two were separated. You feel like a family with her. She would comfort you whenever you're sad and she comforted you after the breakup. Ron died of heart cancer btw. Anyways Hermione didn't really care she only cared about you ☺️☺️☺️ Draco was suspended from Hogwarts for 8 months. He came back and he was jealous seeing you and Hermione caring for HIS child 😡! He does a spell to make Hermione into a pot but instead he makes Harry Potter one. He is so mad. Draco yells "GET AWAY FROM THAT MUDBLOOD Y/N! 🤬🤬🤬" you flinch and look back at him with horror 😱 he grabs you and runs to the courtyard. He kisses your eyebrow and whispers in a threatening voice "stay away from that mudblood" he sends a shiver down your spine and you slowing nod. Once he loosens his grip you manage to run away. When you're running you run into Hermione and...