It was Kaede. She stood in front of me, looking down at the mess I had become. I didn't question at all why she was outside the dorms at night. She looked at me with pity. I tried to speak but I could only whimper . She kneeled down onto the ground in front of me and held my hand. She stroked it like I used to stroke her hand back then. She waited for me to regain my composure before I could speak. Finally, I said the truth that had been haunting me all night.
"I told Kaito that I loved him and he didn't- he didn't say anything. He had the saddest look on his face. He's never going to look at me the same. I lost a great friend," I managed to say while stifling sobs.
Saying those words out loud caused another round of tears. Kaede never once broke her gaze. She stayed with me the whole time as I let it all out. Once I calmed down again, she spoke up.
"Shuichi, I remember way back when you broke up with me. I honestly thought it was the end of my world. Even though it was such a short time, I truly thought we were soulmates. But when you told me why, I realized that you were finally being yourself. You held onto your secret for so long. I couldn't even begin to understand what you had to go through to finally accept yourself. I was your first hurdle, Kaito is your second. I know you well enough to know that Kaito was the reason you haven't officially come out to everyone. I saw you at the party looking at him when Kokichi came out. I saw the fear in your eyes. You shouldn't let one person unknowingly hold this much power over you. Nothing is holding you back anymore, Shuichi. Go be free! Start asking some boys out! Have fun! There are plenty of men out there. But even if Kaito doesn't accept you at first, he'll come around to it. I mean, it's Kaito for heaven's sake. He's been calling you 'sidekick' for months now. There's no way he's going to throw away all of the memories between you two."
She slowly helped me stand up. "It might be awkward at first, but I know he'll come around. For now, promise me you will finally be yourself when you're comfortable". At this point we were both standing while holding hands. Out of any girl I could've picked back then, I'm glad I chose Kaede. I slowly embraced her and let out one last round of tears. The hug filled me with warmth, something I craved at that moment.
"C'mon, let's go back inside. It's freezing out here," Kaede assured. We walked inside and departed as she went back to her dorm, and I was left standing alone in front of the door to my own. I stood there trying to build up the courage to enter. When I finally did, I saw a sleeping Kaito hidden underneath his starry-sky blanket. I slowly but steadily walked myself back to my bed where I laid down to stare back up at the ceiling. Kaede's words rang through my head like a stone causing ripples in a pond. It's not going to be easy getting over Kaito but...
I'm glad I'll have people I can talk to.
YOU ARE READING
Saimota - Coming to Terms
फैनफिक्शनHaving issues with his sexuality: Shuichi tries to live his life at Hopes Peak Academy in the closet. However, a new roommate comes along and changes his world. Will he be able to overcome his insecurities to be with his new roommate?
