Life, Indescribable

Chapter 1

I may look like any other normal eighteen year old, but I'm not. I have all kinds of disorders; Anxiety, ADD, Bipolar, Anorexia, and Anti-social Personality. My life is full of up and downs, I never know what kind of day I'm going to have. I have to take multiple medications, but after that, I have a pretty okay day. I get tired of taking them, of having people force me into a box that I don't want to be in. But I would rather be stuffed inside that figurative box, than to be insane in my own mind and body. My best friend, Sally, she's beautiful. Not me, I'm pretty ugly. But enough about me, my brother, he's my hero. He plays football, basketball, and even plays on the chess team. He has a whole bunch of friends, and is riding on a scholarship, all the way to Harvard. Yes, he's the smartest guy I've ever known. Like I said, he's my hero. He stood up for me when we were little, he even punched a guys lights out for calling me a freak. He is the closest thing to a father I've had. Our dad left us and our mother a few years ago. Said that he couldn't look after a freak like me, and left. But we don't need him anyway, our mom is amazing! She makes cookies, and our birthday cakes. She owns a bakery, so we get all kinds of treats. I don't eat much, but cookies are my weakness, especially red velvet, chocolate chip. Their amazing! Anyway back to the story, today. My best friend walked up to me and smacked me straight across the face. I was holding back tears as I started to walk away. She jerked my arm back, in the process, making my cuts bleed again. They were seeping through my hoodie, which just had to be white today. Everybody stopped in the hall and started staring, when they realized it was a fight, they all gathered around and stopped any of the teachers from finding out. "Listen here, you little freak. I've been your best friend for years, and this is how you repay me? By telling your brother that I'm a cheater. It was a one time thing, and we were on a break!" I didn't know what to say, because everybody was too close to me. Physical contact is pretty terrifying for me. "Did you hear me, you're a freak! Why don't you just kill yourself and do us all a favor?" I was definitely crying now, I couldn't hold them in any longer. That's when I flashed back, back to before I even met Sally.

XxFlashbackxX

I was eight when they realized, I wasn't like the other kids. My mom took me to a doctor very far away, and when we got the results of my tests, my mom broke down into tears. I comforted her, but she seemed to just cry more, I was eight, how was I supposed to deal with that? When we got home, my dad was packing his bags and starting the car. "Where are you going?" my mother asked him, "Away, I can't raise a freak!" That was the last thing I heard him say. My mother turned around and saw my brother and I standing there. "Jack, you're the man of the house now. You're going to have to take care of Hailer." He nodded and took my hand. We stood there for what felt like an eternity, the three of us. That's the way it's been since then.

A few years after that I started high school. Jack would protect me, he even paid to have me put in all his classes. He loved me, then I met Sally my third year in high school. She was awesome, she would come over to my house and we would play in a band. Being Sally's friend was pretty cool, she's the one that came up with the idea of starting a band. She got me out of my shell, I was the lead singer and I played guitar sometimes. 

It was the end of our junior year when Sally told Jack how she felt about him. They started dating and I was happy for once in my life.

They started hanging out all the time, but I didn't get to see either of them for a really long time. I started getting bullied, got called a freak because of my panic attacks. At home, Jack wasn't talking to me. The one time I tried to talk to him, he told me to get out of his room. He never yells at me, he takes care of me, he doesn't yell. That's when I started to cut and starve myself. I couln't tell anybody, my only friend and brother were ignoring me. What am I supposed to do in that situation?

I stayed in my room, except to go to school, and to appease my mother. She worries about me, but doesn't take care of me. That was supposed to be Jack's job. He was slacking.

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A/N- I really have no idea what I'm doing with this book, but whatever. I hope you guys like it. Love you! Dark shadows and scary dreams!!!!!!!!!!

~Angel