Comfort Me || STRAY KIDS

Bend But Don't Break

✧

Jeongin hasn't been sleeping.

Well, all the members are leaning towards less than a healthy amount of sleep these days, but Jeongin is actually teetering dangerously into less than twelve hours in the last three days. And then, he doesn't sleep at all. Nothing worked that night. He should be exhausted—it should be so easy for his body to obey its own needs, especially after a long day of dance rehearsal.

Instead he has to feign waking up in the morning so as not to worry his hyungs. If they knew the precarious state of his sleep schedule he'd be sidelined forsure, and he's already falling behind as it is. At some point in the past few months, Jeongin began to feel inadequate. It seemed like his members were flying past him, all succeeding in new ways whereas he was left behind. He's made an effort to work harder, to improve—but now all he can see is failure.

Hyunjin pokes his head into the room. "Hey, In-ah, are you getting up soon? We gotta leave in ten minutes."

He sighs and rolls out of bed, teetering unevenly on his feet. "Yeah, Hyung. I'm coming." At least they think he was sleeping in.

He dresses methodically, pulling on a pair of track pants and a black shirt. There's no one in the bathroom and he's able to wash his face and apply some concealer to the purple under his eyes in peace. His reflection in the mirror could pass for a ghost—he looks pale, especially under the unforgiving fluorescent light.

Seungmin shoves him playfully as they put on their shoes but instead of catching himself, his mind sluggishly registers the feeling of falling but does nothing to stop it. He lands on his tailbone with a small "oof", causing Seungmin and Jisung to burst out laughing.

"Hyung," Jeongin whines.

"What the heck was that? You literally let him shove you over." Jisung snorts.

"M'tired." Well, it's not exactly a lie.

Seungmin takes pity on him though, and pulls him back up to his feet. He blinks hard, pretending that the world isn't spinning wildly beneath him. They exit the dorm and begin to walk—it's only a twenty minute trip to the company building. On good days they like to walk as a warm up before dancing, but today it feels more like torture.

The sun is especially bright this morning, reflecting painfully off the white sidewalk and blinding Jeongin. He pulls up his face mask a little, hoping to cover at least a bit of the ground beneath him. Seungmin and Jisung are laughing about something, but he can't bring himself to pay attention to their conversation.

The other members are already at the studio by the time the group of three arrives. Jeongin is panting a little, worn out by the walk. His head is beginning to pound in time with his heart, and instead of stretching he flops lazily onto the sofa pushed into the corner of the room.

"Hey, come on. None of that today," Felix teases, coming over to prod Jeongin in the ribs. "Let's get you warmed up and more awake."

Jeongin sighs, sliding dramatically off the couch and onto the floor with a pout. "Okay."

✧

Practice is going as smoothly as expected, given that Jeongin is half asleep on his feet. Minho frowns at him, watching closely as he stumbles through the choreography. It's very unlike the maknae to be so absent while dancing, but the poor thing looks exhausted. Minho's about to call for a break on his behalf when Jeongin suddenly teeters forward—crashing into Changbin who's positioned in front of him.

The dance abruptly comes to a halt. Changbin twists on his heel, catching Joengin before he can smack face first into the hardwood.

"In-ah?"