Falling in Love with Fashion

New Version Ch 1 'Sleepless' Pt.2

Picture Credit/Model: Stephen James

Actress/ Phoebe Tonkin

I quickly sit up, still feeling tired and disoriented as my eyes adjust to the darkness in my room. There's a loud banging coming from the other side of my bedroom door. At first I think I'm dreaming. When I'm fully awake I realize it's someone at my front door; I jump out of bed, run to my bedroom door and pull it open. The banging continues, the urgency startles and worries me. "Who the hell is it?' I ask myself in a loud tone of voice; so whoever is banging on my front door would stop.

In my head I think it's my roommate Brad, but he's in L.A and is going to be gone for another couple of days. So, to be honest, I have no idea who it could be. Not even bothering to look through the peep-hole; I quickly undo the dead-bolt locks; grab the brass door knob and pull it open. I'm unexpectedly greeted by a person starring back at me with blood shot red eyes, sobbing, and smelling of alcohol.

Jessica raises her right hand in an attempt to run her fingers through her untamed hair and completely misses. She stumbles forward forcing me to catch her before she falls and she starts to laugh lightheartedly. "Hi ... Baby."

"What are you doing here?' I ask her while I steady her.

"I nee ..." she takes a deep breath, and looks up at me through her eyelashes. "I came to tell you that ... I love you Alec, I love you so much ..." I stand her up and she tries to lean her head against my chest. Instead I lean her up against the wall and shut my apartment door. Once I do the locks, I stare back at her trying to figure out why on earth she would show up on my door step like this.

I make a quick assessment of the situation according to her appearance. She was all sweaty, and aside from smelling like alcohol, she also smells of cigarettes. At the moment I'm at a lost for words because I'm not used to seeing Jessica so disheveled. She cares a lot about her appearance and how she is perceived by others. So this is perplexing to me. And, I don't like seeing her like this, but in a cynical way it brings me a level of contentment. Because that's supposed to be me in her place acting all hopeless, and needy; Yet, I'd rather drawn myself in work, then look like she does now.

"You can't stay here Jessica." I tell her right away so I wouldn't have to deal with this a day before my most important go-sees.

"No.' she yells out loud and suddenly her body propels forward. I quickly hold my arms out and catch her before she falls flat on her face. I steady her and I hold her at arm's reach. "Don't ..." she reaches with both hands, grabs my face and stares at me intently. "Don't do this, don't say no to me. I messed ... up, I know I did, but please ...don't end this, don't end us ..." Her knees abruptly buckle under her and as she's going down I try to hold her up, but she's dead weight. So, I let go; Jessica sinks on to the hardwood floor. In a fit she hits it with her right fist and starts sobbing loudly. "You are to blame as well." She flings her hand backwards and hits my right leg. Hazel eyes glare up at me with tears in their eyes and it pains me to see her like this. Jessica is so reserved, and swallows her pride before causing a scene, but tonight she's out of control and I'm confused.

Mascara is running down her face with a vengeance as it mixed with her snot that she can't control that is now mingled with her tears and running down her lips. And all I can do is shake my head at the sight of her. As bad as I felt for her, I know her very well and the manipulative side of her always surfaces when she doesn't get her way. I was not going to allow myself to be fazed by her crying or hitting me. What she wanted was a reaction and I'm not going to give her one. She is treating this situation as if I'm being unfair, or like I cheated on her. When in fact she was the one that cheated; her reaction is really surprising. It also tells me that I don't really understand the logic of women, but what man does?