Ricky and EJ Oneshots (HSMTMTS)

i'm scared. - pt.1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is unedited and I'm the one to blame for all grammar errors. namaste.

After the dance competition took place in North High, the wildcats decided to call it a day and just drown themselves in pizza grease and milkshakes at Salt Lake Slices, now considered the group's equivalent of the Central Perk from Friends. As they walked through the fancy and shining exit of their rival school, Ricky and Nini were avoiding talking to each other too much.

"Ricky... can we talk?" Nini broke the silence after taking a deep and hesitant breath.

"Yeah... sure — about what?" Ricky replied.

"I've been thinking about it for a while... And..." she began before taking a shaky breath. "I love you, Ricky – but I feel suffocated being your girlfriend."

"What do you mean?" Ricky asked confused.

"The whole... boarding school, YAC phase was because I felt stuck here. But then I realized — you made me feel stuck," she said. "You're too clingy sometimes — and I genuinely feel like I'm trapped when I'm dating you," Nini spilled her guts to him.

Ricky looked at her in shock, sadness, betrayal, and anger.

He definitely didn't see it coming. He thought she would at least understand why he was needing her a little more.

"Do you have any idea what these past few months have been to me?" Ricky scoffed. "Nini, my parents got a divorce, my mom has a stupid fucking boyfriend, I've moved from the only thing I could call home... apart from you – and now you're also leaving me?"

"You didn't even think about me, you're too selfish to ever think about what other people feel!" Nini snapped.

"Maybe if I wasn't anxious, depressed, and closeted–" Ricky began ranting before realizing what he said.

"You're... what?" Nini's voice lowered.

"Fuck," Ricky mumbled. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that, I'll just go," he said as he felt his throat closing and eyes burning, speed walking and ignoring her voice calling his name several times.

His vision was blurry when he got into the car. he just sat down on the passenger seat and continued to hyperventilate and wipe the tears that were forming... until he suddenly heard a familiar voice saying his name. he looked to his side to see a worried and freaked out EJ.

"Fuck, wrong car," he whispered to himself between choked breaths. he tried. to open the door, but his shaking hands made it impossible.

What if Nini tells everyone?

What if they don't accept me

His thoughts were overwhelming him and he felt like drowning. Until he felt an arm holding him. He freaked out at first, then he held into EJ with all of his strength, surprising Caswell a little of how strong Ricky actually was.

"Shh, I'm here... It's okay," EJ tried to calm him down.

"It's not okay! I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo–"

"Stop, you aren't any of that, and stop quoting Radiohead," EJ replied.

"Yes, I am!" Ricky said as he wiped his own tears. "I'm too clingy, I'm controlative, and I'm a selfish ass–" he began his uncontrollable rant when EJ held his hand.

"Take deep breaths, okay?" EJ said as Ricky slowly nodded. "Okay, great – now, follow my breathing," he continued as he took exaggerated breaths.

EJ had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but he remembers Ashlyn giving him a lecture on how to help people having a panic attack.

In... and out.

In... and out.

EJ's voice echoed inside Ricky's head like a melody, or an anchor, keeping him from sinking into the abyss. His arms were holding him as if to prevent him from falling apart. Ricky rested his head at the space between EJ's shoulder and his neck.

In... and out.

In... and out.

Ricky kept holding EJ's hand and squeezing it as his anxiety got worse, to which EJ would squeeze back and hold him tighter.

In... and out.

In... and out.

Ricky slowly felt himself getting back to normal. When he reluctantly got away from EJ's touch, he stopped for a moment to look at EJ's green eyes.

EJ looked at Ricky's now red eyes and gave him a small smile. Ricky's lips curled into a crooked sad smile in return and he sadly chuckled.

"Sorry for being so messed up."

"You don't need to apologize, Ricky. Are you better now?" EJ asked.

"I guess I am... Thank you for... helping me."

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right? Now let's go to the pizza place, our friends might be there already," EJ said.

Friend. Ricky had bittersweet thoughts about what EJ just said.

part of him smiled at the word,

but part of him shattered at the thought that they won't be more than this.

(TO BE CONTINUED...)