Letters To Airman DeMarco

Chapter Two September

Dear K,

I believe we have struck a deal. I didn't lie about my name FYI. My name is Rory. Well at least that's what everyone calls me. My full name is Aurora Dixon. And as for a secret, I don't know whether you'll be pleased or disappointed to learn that I am not in fact claustrophobic nor am I harboring a secret crush on the quarterback. I don't even know who the quarterback is. I have exactly zero crushes at the moment. My secret is a lot less fun than any of that.

I just spent the last 2 weeks living with my grandmother because we didn't have any power or water. It got cut off for nonpayment. We finally get to go home to our own house tonight. But it's not like it got cut off just once. It wouldn't be a secret then. It gets cut off all the time. I don't know why we bother going back home. I'll spend my night scrubbing the house trying to get the stale smell out and in another couple months we'll do this all over again. No one knows that I'm poor. You can't exactly fit in with the popular crowd when half of them have rich parents if you're can't even keep the lights on. I lie about it all. It's really lonely sometimes. You're the only person I've ever told that to.

I don't really have any plans for the future other than to get there myself. I'm taking all advanced classes and I'm in dual enrollment, which is just college classes that they let you take in high school for free. I don't like advanced classes, but (because there's always a but) it adds extra points onto your GPA at graduation and if I can get into the top 10 in my class I'll get a full scholarship to our local community college. So I need all the extra points I can get. It's not super exciting I know, but no scholarship means no college. And I need college. I have to get away from here.

- Rory

I dropped the letter over into the box on Mr. Jackson's desk before heading out. I felt sick. I didn't know that guy and I'd probably never see him, but telling anyone anything about my life was absolutely nauseating. I went home that afternoon and finished all my chores early before crawling into bed without dinner. I wasn't hungry. I was too sick over what I had told K. Maybe the letter would get lost in the mail.

The next day at school wasn't much better. That stupid letter consumed all of my thoughts although I wasn't missing much in the real world. Being in the "in crowd" really wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I was fake. Probably the most fake person in the whole damn school, and I hated every minute of it. But I didn't hate it enough to change anything about it. I had spent my entire school career on the outside being bullied until high school. I changed schools. Lost a ton of weight and traded in my glasses for contacts. I hid every single nerdy thing about myself. I got up an hour early every day to fix my hair and put on half a pound of makeup. I pretended to care about all the dumb shit everyone else seemed to care about. I listened to the same music they did and watched the same shows they did. I was empty, but I was also untouchable.

I have one friend who isn't in the in crowd. She's a grade below me and possibly more unstable than I am, although I hide mine. She's the only person in this shit hole I have anything in common with. We actually like the same music and TV shows but unlike me she doesn't hide who she was. She's okay with who she is. But maybe having rich parents gives you a buffer for the bullying? She's also never called me out for being a hypocrite. She pretends not to notice that I'm a completely different person around all my other friends. I'm thankful for that. Stephanie has never been to my house. She doesn't know anything about my life outside of school. We only ever hangout at her house, but she doesn't ask questions. I don't know if I'd survive this without her. She's the only thing that keeps me grounded. She's also the only person who has noticed my change in mood today.

"Rory what's going on? You look like someone has told you the world is ending at midnight."

"It just might Steph."