Free Yourself

No Longer "The One"

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you aren't the one after all. Maybe all this was, was just a silly little dream. Despite all the things people say about us, I can't escape the feeling of gravity pulling me away from you. Sure, you've got that smile that makes it impossible to stay mad at you, but I guess it gets to a point it's not longer worth it. Maybe I'm just giving up too easy. I mean, 10 years isn't even half my age. I still have a long, beautiful life ahead. But it still hurts. Your eyes make it hard not to fall into your mystery. I know I shouldn't do this to myself. I know I deserve better. I deserve someone who will always be there for me. Someone who despite my 17 mental breakdowns a week, will still love me. Moving on is something I have tried. Tried to get lost in other people, but we see how that turned out. It only left me more heart broken, seeing you didn't care. I think that's what hurt the most. I thought maybe if I filled in time with them, you'd finally open your blind eyes to see what was in front of you. But you didn't. And the pain didn't stop. Even telling myself you weren't worth it didn't helped. I guess the truth is, I loved you. I loved you more than myself. They say you shouldn't do that, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. That's not true, you don't have to like the person you see in the mirror, let alone love them. I'd bend over backwards to make sure you wouldn't get hurt. I used to anticipate seeing you, but now, I only dread it. Because the truth is, I hate seeing you. I hate seeing you because I guess in a way it breaks my heart, knowing you're not the one. Knowing that you're just fine without me. The one I spent so many hours thinking about. But things, time, people- they're constantly changing. And even if it's destroying you, you're just got to move on because the world doesn't stop for any of us. Your world will still keep spinning without me, but mine will too. You don't need a significant other to be happy, to love yourself. And now that I think about it, that's probably why I did. I thought, maybe if I loved you, I would finally realize to love myself. But that's wrong. You shouldn't love yourself just because someone else does. Despite the image society paints of how it thinks you should be, you must know you'll never be someone if you don't paint your own. Besides, my happiness is worth more than a damn text message you'll never send.